The global conspiracy to keep wagons out of Americans’ hands

Among the Geneva Motor Show's more practical reveals were a handful of handsome, efficient family movers for a variety of pocketbooks, all of which fell into the category known as "wagons," such as the Chevy Cruze wagon and Jaguar XF Sportbrake. By doing so, they're certain never to appear on these shores. Here's why Americans can't get some of the best vehicles in the world.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm biased toward wagons. Supposedly as a toddler I rolled around a playpen set up in the back of the Pontiac Bonneville Safari wagon en route to grandma's house, and the resulting imprinted memories/light brain damage incepted my future preferences. My last two personal rides have been wagons, and I suspect the next one will be too. I'm typical of the amateur dad autowriter set, an enfeebled gang that somehow still talked General Motors into building a Cadillac CTS-V wagon that sells like Rush Limbaugh t-shirts at Barnard College alumnae day.

Depending on what you define as a wagon, there's roughly 20 models on sale in the United States that could wear the label, but only a few would truly fit the classic shape of a "station wagon." Of those, most arrive here as an afterthought, only brought over if it's easy to help fill foreign factories. Among mass-market brands, the numbers have fallen steadily; Volvo and Mazda pulled their wagons, Volkswagen has culled its ranks, and even Subaru seems more interested in the SUV market than keeping their owner's Birkenstocks happy.