2015 Mercedes S65 AMG proves its worth in 12 simple ways

It's lunchtime and you've ventured to In-N-Out. You're starving. You've built up a hearty appetite. The waitress asks for your order and you have a decision to make: Do you save some cash and spend $1.60 on a hamburger and grab a drink from the water fountain back at the office? Or do you shell out $5.95 and indulge in a succulent Double-Double meal with an oversized Coke? Chances are, you'll go big.

Is that good value? Well, if you've got the money, while your chomping on your juicy burger with tangy sauce dripping down your chin, I bet you'd say it was. So what about the insanely expensive Mercedes S65 AMG? Can a sedan that stickers well north of $200,000 ever be describe as good value? Tiger Woods thinks so.

Yes, Tiger drives an S65 AMG. Business tycoons everywhere don the elegant and understated Mercedes-Benz S-Class. If you've got the dough, the technology and class exuded from what has become the benchmark in its class is unparalleled. It's the best. And you want the best, right?

But why is it worth so much? Well, it's not just the S65's 621 horses and 738 lb.-ft. of torque deriving from the handcrafted twin-turbo motor. And it's more than its 0-60 mph time of 4.2 seconds. The interior is perhaps more beautiful than a majestic white stallion galloping along a beach in Fiji, but even that's not the real reason. No, it's Mercedes' Rolls Royce-like attention to detail, only it costs an entire house less than the Rolls. And it's not positively baroque. It's like Mike Tyson dressed in a Macy's suit with James Bond's gadgets in his pockets.

It boasts "magic body control," an occult version of GM's acclaimed magnetic ride control. But rather than scan the road 1,000 times per second -- like with GM's version -- adjusting the suspension based on the road surface, the Mercedes has cameras that inspect the road ahead of time, customizing the suspension in advance. The interior's ambient lighting, too, comes with more selectable colorings than on one of Elton John's jackets. It boasts an innovative lithium-ion battery that saves 44 lbs. The seats offer a hot-stone massage. It has night vision. And it gently wafts many delightful scents through the air vents depending on your mood.

And that's only scratching the surface. You could own an S-Class for a year and still not discover all its tricks. So, if your pockets are lined with diamonds or your named after a large cat, why wouldn't you buy an S-Class? And the 2015 S65 AMG, set to make its debut this month in Los Angeles, well, there's one simple reason you'd buy that over, say, the V-8 engined S63 AMG. Rather, there's twelve very simple reasons why. Twelve, distinctly V-shaped, reasons — backed by two turbos, into a combo that's hard to double.