Yahoo Autos Drag-Prepped Chevy S10, Honda Beat, Bonneville Land Speed Record Car: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online
Do you feel that? It’s not a chill in the air, not yet, but it’s the anticipation of one — the sweltering heat getting a touch less sweltering, the nights getting ever cooler as you drift off to sleep. These dog days are ending, friends.
Which, of course, means now is the time to buy a cool car. People don’t want to bother with winter storage, so the end of summer means the beginning of the deals on all the fun stuff you’ll drive next year — the future’s Dopest Cars.
1999 Chevrolet S10 Drag Car - $68,000
This week, I’m playing Dopest on easy mode. I don’t have to sell you on this, c’mon — it’s a drag-prepped pickup truck. The seller claims it runs a 4.20, which has to be in the 1/8th, which is admittedly a bold claim to make about a truck that’s sold without running gear.
OK, sure, it may not include “an engine,” but you can find V8s to shove ahead of that firewall. I assure you, they’re out there. What isn’t out there is a surplus of trucks with full cages and tube chassis front ends. That, you have to get here.
2015 Honda Gold Wing - $10,500
Earlier today, I was eyeing a motorcycle for sale in Van Nuys, California. It’s a retro naked bike, and I decided that riding from coast to coast without a windshield would probably be a pain, but here’s a bike you could ride anywhere without regard for comfort: A Gold Wing.
Coast to coast? Easy. You could ride a Gold Wing continent to continent and your only concern would be when your next gas stop will come. It’s the ultimate touring bike, and the perfect chariot for end-of-summer tours.
1999 Mazda Miata - $5,499
This is how a Miata should be. I realize that’s a bold stance, given that this is lifted and rattlecanned and rusted and has an air horn mounted sideways where the bumper should be, but hear me out: All Miatas should be more like this.
That is to say, all Miatas should be modified into an extension of their owners the way this one is. No one concerned about resale has ever touched this car, and it’s all the better for it.
1984 Volvo 240 Turbo - $8,000
Turbo Volvo wagons can fetch stupid money when you find one in immaculate shape, so I’ve provided you an option that isn’t immaculate. This car has rust, the AC is busted, the radio wires are cut — it’s perfect for anyone who wants a turbo wagon without paying turbo wagon money.
Did I mention this one is manual, too? A manual turbo Volvo 240 for under $10,000. Plus a trailer hitch that’s probably rated for more tongue weight than a Cybertruck.
1991 Honda Beat - $7,999
It’s a deep, deep shame in my life that I will likely not fit comfortably in a Honda Beat. I’m a lanky five-foot-11, I’m sure my knees would be inside the steering wheel in any attempt to actually drive a Beat. And yet, I want one.
This Beat also proves that gold wheels look good on every color. I’m generally not a red car girl, but this one pops against the gold of the wheels. It doesn’t just look like McDonalds, I swear.
1999 Porsche 911 - $39,980
Listen, if you want to get your Bradley Brownell Halloween costume done in time, you’re going to have to take some shortcuts. I know, this 996 isn’t an original Turbo. I get it, the color is less green. You are running out of time. Don’t delay this one by another year.
You’ll have to suffer through an aftermarket wing and an original-looking gray interior, but the car itself still seems an absolute hoot to drive. Who needs a bona-fide Turbo anyway? Those things cost money.
2021 Royal Enfield Continental GT - $4,000
We moved on from modern-retro bikes too fast, people. As Jalopnik’s resident ADV girlie, I’m kind of over it — I’ve seen the light of flat bench seats over raised, stepped-up seats that sit 36 inches off the ground. Give me this.
OK, maybe this with more power, but the sentiment holds true. If I’m taking someone out on a date via motorcycle, I don’t want them to have to perch up above me — they should be able to cozy up to me on the seat. Return to flat seats.
2002 BMW M3 - $39,500
We’ve been on a real race car kick in Dopest recently, and I swear that’s not any kind of intentional thing. I pick cars when they look cool, and recently Facebook has been feeding me a ton of track cars for some reason. I’m not going to complain.
This E46 could, however, definitely use a more interesting livery. Silver, blue, and white? Unless you’re a Blue Eyes White Dragon, that’s a boring combo. You can do so much better.
1969 AMC Rambler - $8,000
1987 Ford Ranger Rad Rod - $12,500
Yes, you read that right — this “1939 Dodge Truck Rat Rod” is apparently, beneath it all, a 1987 Ford Ranger. I’m not sure where the body work came from, since that’s clearly not a set of matching parts, but I believe it for the chassis.
Look inside that front door. You see all those ridges? That feels like a modern innovation — at least, modern relative to 1939 standards. It’s a mix of old and new, but manages to not look completely horrid while mixing the two. That’s impressive
2003 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 8 - $34,000
Listen, it’s okay to admit you bought the wrong car. All your friends had Evos, you wanted an Evo, they told you you’d love an Evo — tale as old as time. Look at that color, though. Those wheels. My friend, you don’t have to live like this.
This Evo 8 is doing its best STi cosplay, and it’s not a half bad job. The blue paint, the gold wheels — even the ten-spoke design that looks similar to some Japanese STi wheels. You can just say you want a Subaru. It’s legal now.
2019 Honda Super Cub 125 - $3,200
You may know that the Honda Cub (and its derivatives like this Super Cub) are the best-selling vehicle in the world, but do you know why? I don’t want to talk details, specs, anything like that. Have you ridden one? Would you like to?
This Cub is under $3,500, it’s got a good set of HRC-ish colors, and it’s ready for you to buy, own, and bop around town on. What more could you want? At least, what better way to test out the world’s favorite vehicle?
1992 Ford Ranger - $5,000
Normally I’d never put two of the same make and model into one Dopest, but I’m not sure that last Ranger really counted. This one goes out to the Ranger purists out there, and you all deserve it — this is a beautiful piece of machinery.
The Ranger seems well cared-for, but more importantly this era was the perfect size of truck. You can haul without needing a stepladder to reach your bed —- what’s better than that?
1968 Chevrolet G10 - $15,000
This G10 is weird. It’s set up for van dwelling, with cabinets and a bed inside, but none of it seems to have the soul of a typical vanlifer. This G10 is decked out like a newly renovated apartment that the next tenant will pay entirely too much for, totally opposed to the Instagrammable ideals of many in the community.
Some of this is due to the lack of rear windows, which means that light can’t get into the space and keep things feeling open. It’s all about feng shui with these things. Gotta keep your mirrors aligned, or something.
2011 Motooka Lakester - $22,000
Finally, the car you clicked for: A genuine Bonneville salt flat car, aiming tor land speed records in its drive. This little jet may not make much horsepower, but look at the aerodynamics — how much do you need?
Did you ever play The Simpsons: Hit And Run as a kid? This is totally Burns’ rocket car, right? The one that went so fast in a straight line, but couldn’t handle and would crumple into the fetal position whenever you so much as looked at a wall? That’s this.
