Every Formula 1 Team as Taylor Swift Eras
If you’re looking to finally get into Formula 1 this year because you’ve heard the never-ending hype the sport is receiving, welcome to the club! It’s great fun to follow thanks to all the on-track action, off-track drama and delightful drivers you can get behind. But, it can also be daunting for first time fans entering the sport.
But fledgling F1 fans, fear not. I’m here to guide you through the complexities of this globe-trotting racing series.
Before we learn the ins and outs of the rules and regulations that govern the sport, you’ll probably want to get to know the teams that are racing this year. That way, you can figure out who you might want to support, or who you might want to wish misfortune upon.
To do this, I figured there was only one medium through which we could explore the ten teams on the grid: through the ten eras of Taylor Swift of course. And before anyone asks, obviously I’m only counting the Taylor’s Version albums. What do you think I am, some kind of animal?
With tracks like “Teardrops on My Guitar” and “Tim McGraw,” there are few who would argue against Taylor Swift’s debut being an absolute bop. But, it also came long before Swift’s ascension to pop stardom. That means it’s packed full of country music throwbacks, which easily makes it the most American of Swift’s albums.
Of course, this title means it is the Haas F1 Team of Taylor Swift albums. America’s only team on the F1 grid would for sure get down to T-Swift’s country music jams.
Fearless (Taylor’s Version)
Swift’s second album, Fearless was the first of her records to receive the Taylor’s Version treatment when it was re-released in 2021. Coincidentally, that same year saw French side Renault rebrand itself as Alpine for the Formula 1 season, ushering in a new era for the team... and Ms. Swift.
The rebrand to Alpine brought a whole heap of fanfare and admiration to the side but hasn’t brought its popularity back to its 2006 heyday. The same thing can be said for Fearless (Taylor’s Version): it brought new fans to the record, but didn’t set the world alight.
Ah, Williams, statistically one of the most successful Formula 1 teams of all time, but seemingly a bit lost these days. That sounds a lot like Speak Now to me. This album was crazy successful in its day, with hits like “Mine” and “Back to December” helping it secure number ones around the world.
Williams was similarly successful in its day, and even notched up nine constructors titles and seven drivers crowns. But its results have been far from that level in recent years. The team is crying out for a refresh almost as loudly as Speak Now is crying out for its own Taylor’s Version.
Red (Taylor’s Version)
Ferrari, it’s obviously Ferrari.
Hands down, my favorite Taylor Swift record is 1989 thanks to its pop hits, nostalgic throwbacks and glamor. It’s an instantly likable album with bangers like “Shake it Off” and “Blank Space” helping it set sales records around the world.
Similarly, McLaren is a team that has been filled with big hits over the years. Do the names Lewis Hamilton, Alain Prost or Ayrton Senna sound familiar? The team has also built itself around a fun image after a few serious years that garnered few results. Again, that’s bang in line with 1989, which saw Swift re-launch herself as the fun-loving pop queen we know today.
Much like Taylor Swift’s domination of the record charts, Mercedes has had its own long run of victories in Formula 1, winning eight back-to-back constructors titles between 2014 and 2021. But, after a tough end to the ‘21 season, the team took time away from its winning ways last year thanks to a tricky new car. Now, though, it claims to be back in 2023 stronger, louder and darker.
If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same story arc Swift followed ahead of her sixth studio album, Reputation. Swift was on a high after 1989 but took a beating in the press ahead of recording album number six. Thankfully, she silenced any naysayers with the record once it was released.
After the success of Reputation, Swift followed it up with a return to powerful pop melodies and the release of 2019's Lover. This loved-up record packs hits like “The Man” and “Cornelia Street,” which all form the singer’s love letter to love itself. Cute.
Partially recorded in the UK and featuring nods to Swift’s new British boo, actor Joe Alwyn, the album reminds me of Aston Martin. The UK-based squad is proudly the most patriotically British team on the grid, which fits nicely with the album that saw the singer basically proclaim Britain as her second home.
While you might think that Ferrari is the oldest team on the Formula 1 grid, it isn’t the sport’s only team that was present at the first ever F1 race. Instead, that accolade goes to Alfa Romeo (sort of), which won the very first F1 race in the UK way back on May 13, 1950. That kind of longevity is respected.
Do you know what else is respected? Taylor Swift’s 2020 album Folklore, which shocked the world on its release with its cosy cabin vibes on tracks like “Mirrorball” and “Cardigan.” It’s an album that’s sure to stand the test of time, much like Alfa Romeo or Sauber.
Folklore was followed by Evermore, part of Swift’s duo of cozy cabin records. But unlike Folklore, Evermore lacked a bit of the pizazz of its sibling.
In the world of Formula 1, that’s exactly the same as the relationship between world champions Red Bull and sister team AlphaTauri. In this case, AlphaTauri is Evermore as it’s a good team with some hits, but it’s not going to be outscoring the bigger, more popular sibling anytime soon.
The tenth and final team is Red Bull, which had a record-breaking year in 2022 that saw its driver Max Verstappen set the record for the most wins in a season on the way to his second F1 world title. You know what else had a record-breaking 2022? Taylor Swift’s tenth album, Midnights, which set all manner of milestones for streams and ticket sales last year.
So, both Red Bull and Midnights had stellar years in 2022 and look to be around forever. But, do you know anyone that would hand on heart pick either as their favorite?
More from Jalopnik
NYPD Arrests Cyclist For Uncovering Obscured License Plate, Lets Driver Go
Sign up for Jalopnik's Newsletter. For the latest news, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.