Yahoo Autos People Are Sharing The Reasons They Left Organized Religion, And I Am Shocked, Appalled, And Frankly Disgusted
Regardless of where in the world you grew up, the likelihood that you participated in organized religion in some way at one point in your life is pretty high.
A lot of people find solace within organized religion, while many others find it to be harmful and end up walking away.
MGM / Via giphy.com
I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell me about the moment they realized that organized religion was no longer for them, and I got hundreds of responses.
I just want to say right now how grateful I am to everyone who shared their story with me. I read every single response and wish I could have included them all.
Content warning: sexual assault, child abuse, and anti-LGBTQIA.
1."My ex-husband cheated and got another woman pregnant. He expected ME to raise the baby because she wanted an abortion and he 'didn't believe in it.' So he had this plan all worked out... except I wouldn't play along.
I went to seek an annulment from the church and the priest I spoke with basically told me to, 'Look inward, to discover the root of his infidelity,' (translation: it's my fault he cheated) and to, 'Turn the other cheek, as Jesus taught us,' (translation: let it continue). I divorced him AND the Church."
2."I was raised Latter Day Saint and I remember speaking to my Young Women's leader and we were talking about the importance of tithe — the 10% of your paycheck you are supposed to give to the church. I'll never forget when she told me, 'God will forgive you for murder. He won't forgive you for not paying tithe.'"
—Anonymous
"My father was a union worker when I was in high school. His union went on strike for several months and we had to go on food stamps. The church sent my parents a 'bill' for their tithe. My mom wrote a letter to the church explaining their financial situation. The letter back from the church said they understood, but that they needed paying church members, so they were sorry but my family was no longer welcome."
—Anonymous
3."I helped lead worship at a church, and they would debate how to structure the worship songs to get the biggest emotional reaction out of people. All of the talk of ‘feeling God in the room’ was just an intentionally manufactured experience."
—Anonymous
4."While teaching at a Catholic school, the pastors made me lose every ounce of faith I had. Seeing them behind the scenes and how they treated the people that work for them was horrendous. Yet they put on a show every Sunday. I know that not every pastor is like that, but most of the ones I know are very similar."
—k535
5."In middle school, I went to a Southern Baptist private school. It was drilled into my head that women needed to cover up and be modest, and that my job in life would be to marry a Christian boy and have Christian babies. I was a size DD by the time I was a freshman in high school and boys started to notice and make comments. When I complained to my teachers I was told I needed to wear baggy clothes, which I did.
I started wearing black or neutral tones to fade into the background, participated less in class so people wouldn't look at me. It all came to a head my junior year in high school when I was sexually assaulted at CHURCH in a bathroom by the pastor's son who I also went to school with. The pastor blamed ME. I was done with religion that day and so were my parents. It screwed up my head for YEARS."
6."My father, a seriously devout Catholic, succumbed to a terminal neurological illness. He spent the last 14 years of his life slowly dying in a nursing home. Once he went into the nursing home, our church abandoned him. He received no visitation from the parish priests, no administering of the sacraments, not even a friendly visit just to say hello. As a child, I would go to the rectory and beg the fathers to visit my dad and give him some spiritual comfort. They never went.
When Dad died in 1975, I went to the rectory to arrange his funeral Mass and the pastor of our parish refused, stating that Dad was not a 'paid-up' member of the parish. He was, and had been for 29 years, but since his disease rendered him useless to the church, the church turned its back on him. They refused to take part in my father's funeral based on my father's inability to 'provide' for the church, and it sickened me to the core. I left and never came back. That day I began to see what a parasitic institution the church really was. Me, a woman raised in the faith and whose entire life was defined by Catholicism, hasn't set foot inside a church in 48 years."
—Anonymous
7."I stopped believing when the Sunday school teacher couldn’t tell me why 'all colors of children were loved by Jesus,' but once they became adults she referred to them with racial slurs. I wasn’t welcome in her class after that."
— Anonymous
8."I left the church after multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. I saw that the people we were fighting there did it because their god told them they had a duty to. I saw things happen that no human should even have to imagine, and people in the US told me it was OK because the Christian god said that they were going to hell anyway. I can't fathom why any sane person would subscribe to any religion that has these kind of beliefs. It sickens me."
9."Things changed when I took Philosophy 101 in college. It primarily focused on philosophies in religion and the existence of a higher power. That class made me realize it was ok to question religion and allowed me to come to the conclusion that I had actually never believed in God or felt comfortable in church."
"In a world religion class in college we learned the story of how Mohammed rode to heaven on a flying horse. I thought, 'How crazy is that!' Then I realized the Christian stories were just as outrageous: Jesus healing the sick, making the blind see, and raising people from death. So the stories of my god are true but other religions' stories are fake? I could no longer believe in the fantasy of any god."
—Anonymous
10."My church community was very welcoming towards me and I looked up to the older women who told stories of the 'great work' they did on years of missions trips. One day a woman told me about how she spent almost 30 years doing ex-gay conversion therapy in New York.
I was devastated. Many of my friends are part of the LGBTQ community. I was dumbstruck that my church which had been so open and inviting would be involved in such a horrible practice. I went on to explain that they weren't helping people, but were really abusing and torturing innocent people in the name of their god. I walked out of church that day and never looked back."
—Anonymous
"When I was a kid I loved organized religion — the ceremony, the messages of love and forgiveness, the solace that church brought. But when my childhood friend came out as a lesbian my church condemned her. This was a woman who prior to coming out everyone loved. She was intelligent, witty, beautiful, and caring. She knew our small town would turn on her, so she waited until she moved far away for college before coming out and she was right. It became so ugly and they justified their derogatory speech behind Bible verses. Suddenly the association I had between the church and love dissolved; she never deserved their hate. Love is love, so I sought spirituality and solace elsewhere."
—Anonymous
11."A guy befriended me at my last church. He included me in a lot of activities and at that time I needed a friend. He pressured me into getting baptized and right after that he cut me loose. He told me that he had never really wanted to be friends with me, but he wanted to save my soul."
—Anonymous
12."My dad lost his job during the 2001 recession. Our lifestyle changed drastically overnight. We went from going on family vacations every year to my mom setting up play dates or sleepovers because she couldn’t afford to feed me every night. Our church and congregation's response was heartbreaking. We had been members for years but as soon as we couldn’t keep up with the Joneses we were nothing.
I think this type of behavior felt so damaging because organized religion sells itself on the idea of being one family under god. And cruelty and ostracism have no place in a family. I say this knowing that there are good people out there who are religious, but over all the whole system is broken."
