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This Pontiac Aztek Proves It Can Always Get Worse

Image: Facebook Marketplace
Image: Facebook Marketplace

The Pontiac Aztek was misunderstood. It was a lifestyle vehicle, an outdoorsy crossover similar in idea to the Honda Element that was genuinely practical and had cool features like an integrated tent. As soon as the Aztek came out, pretty much everyone agreed that it was ugly, which is probably the main reason why it flopped. Apparently not content with the Aztek’s already controversial styling, someone has gone and made one look even worse. It can always get worse.

A listing on Facebook Marketplace out of Lincoln, Illinois, has what’s easily the worst Pontiac Aztek you’ll ever see. It’s listed by a Joe Rybolt, who goes by the username of shortbus02 on TikTok. He’s the original owner and modifier of this 2002 Aztek, which 86,500 miles on it. The Aztek has apparently received a lot of awards at car shows, as an image from one of his TikTok shows.

Image: Pontiac
Image: Pontiac

It’s hard to understand why. This thing is hard to look at. The outside is covered in a bright yellow and purple two-tone paint job that’s made more extreme by flames on the hood and along the sides of the car. The front fenders go from purple flames to orange ones, which then run along the sides before covering the rear fenders in purple and the lower part of the rear bumper and hatch in orange. Then there’s the weird starfish-like yellow wheels that also have flames, and the huge and cringey “Short Bus” decal on the back window. The icing on this shocking cake are front scissor doors that open skyward, Lamborghini style.

Image: Pontiac
Image: Pontiac

There aren’t any photos of the interior, but from what we can see in a walkaround video on the listing, it looks like it was done up by a Lakers fan. Everything from the seats to the carpet is either purple or yellow or a mixture of both. There’s also no word on whether any mods have been done to the engine. We can see an aftermarket center-exit exhaust, but that could be just for show. We’re going to assume the engine is the same 185-hp 3.4-liter V6 the Aztek came with.

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Just what will all this cost you? If you’re drinking something, get ready to spew it all over your computer screen. Rybolt is asking a cool $24,999 for this Aztek. That’s a big ask for something that’s going to attract ridicule.

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