Today we received the announcement of the Dartz Aladeen Edition Prombron, a gold-coated version of the real armored SUV from the Latvian customizer whose tastes know few bounds -- much like its new signature client, Sacha Baron Cohen's Admiral General Aladeen from the upcoming movie, "The Dictator." Here's how much it will cost to drive like the ruler of all Wadiya.
Dartz touts their armored SUVs as the world's most expensive, and with prices north of $1 million for the Monaco Red Edition, no one disputes that. Built in Latvia with custom armor, blast-proof windows and V8 engines of up to 400 hp, Dartz claims its vehicles can withstand hits from rocket-propelled grenades while swaddling passengers in luxury, although no one has recorded the outcome of such a test to date. Dartz's largest claim to fame so far involved a custom Prombron interior featuring leather from whale penises -- an option dropped after opposition and free publicity from Greenpeace and the World Wildlife Foundation.
That was before its embrace as the ride of choice for "The Dictator," whose release May 12 will bring the Dartz style to an audience that may not realize it's the most realistic part of the movie. Below, Dartz's newest customer announces the company will sell 10 copies of the Prombron tricked out as they appear on screen, at prices of $500,000 to $750,000 before any options for receiving love of a grateful public. We'll let General Aladeen's people explain below:
His Excellency Admiral General Aladeen has graciously granted his express permission for Dartz Motorz, manufacturer of ultra-luxury armored vehicles and exclusive provider to the Wadiyan government motor pool, to offer limited edition commemorative vehicles honoring the Ruthless Protector of the Precious and Expendable People of Wadiya. Like civil rights in Wadiya, this offer will not be around for long.
Named for the undemocratically and forcibly elected Leader of Wadiya, the gold Aladeen Edition armored vehicles will be revealed to the people of the world at the Top Marques Monaco show under the high patronage of His Serene Highness Prince Albert II of Monaco. Top Marques Monaco, held at the Grimaldi Forum April 19 - 22, is revered as the world's most exclusive supercar show where drivers experience firsthand the latest state-of-the-art machines on the prestigious Formula One racetrack, the Circuit de Monaco, mere weeks before the famous race takes place. A race that Aladeen has already won.
The Dartz Motorz PROMBRON (ex.RussoBaltique) vehicle comes from a long line of armored vehicles more than a hundred years in the making; it was originally built in 1912 for Russian Tzar Nikolai II. The PROMBROM was also NOT used in the accidental hit-and-run death of Wadiyan political opposition leader Maran Harouri, nor in the accidental repeated running over of the six witnesses to the hit-and-run.
Labeled the "World's Most Expensive Armored Car," the PROMBRON is the fastest and most maneuverable luxury armored all-road vehicle in the world. With supercar power and the technology of a spaceship, it boasts very unique protection capabilities from level B2 to B7+, providing occupants with resistance to RPGs and .50 caliber high velocity armor piercing rounds (or as Aladeen calls them, "love letters from his people.")
Furthermore, all Dartz vehicles come equipped with patented 3" ionized glass, also RPG resistant. Each vehicle is handmade with great attention to sumptuous detail, exemplified in the exotic hand-stitched leathers and wood used in the interior, reclining massage seats, champagne bottle chillers and wine racks. And there's room in back for up to six kidnapped actresses or faded supermodels.
Ten Aladeen Edition vehicles will be made available as part of this limited offer. MSRP ranges from $500,000 to $750,000. Actual price will vary depending on equipment and package options. (Price excludes title, taxes, registration, license fees, insurance, dealer prep and additional options.) By purchasing one of these vehicles you are also legally agreeing to have sex with Aladeen.