Santa Claus tests Ferrari F1 racecar as Rudolph replacement

Times have evolved since man used horse and carriage for transportation. As Ron Burgundy points out, why use one horse when you can use many? And as Christmas nears, the pressure grows for St. Nicholas to update his methods in a world obsessed with superbikes and delivery drones. After all, a herd of reindeer pulling a sleigh – despite one with an unusually red nose — hits more of a hipster vibe than the millennial crowd.

In an effort to up the wow factor, Santa traded Rudolph and the gang for a sparkly 2013 Ferrari F1 car. Rumors swirl that he afforded such an expensive sleigh by making a fortune on Tesla stock and other investments, via the ultimate insider's knowledge of naughtiness. All we know for sure is that he utilized Ferrari test driver Marc Genè to evaluate his new rig at the Fiorano test track in Maranello, due to his inability to fit within the cramped cockpit, and humiliating the Spanish racer by forcing him to don his floppy red hat. We assume the Ferrari will be ready for delivering at top speed come Christmas — unless Adrian Newey and Red Bull offer him an even hipper ride: