Super Bowl car commercials: Which TV ads scored, which fumbled

Trying to make sense of automotive Super Bowl ads is like trying to make sense of American football. It's one of the most violent sanctioned games in the world, and for some strange reason there's actually a penalty called "unnecessary roughness."

For the amount of money CBS charged for an ad during the game, you'd think that the Super Bowl was the fountain of youth. The game, actually, used to be about which NFL team was the best. Now, the Super Bowl is all about which TV ads produced the zestiest buzz.

Several Consumer Reports Autos team members watched the commercials, looking to do a claim check on the ads. However, in reality, almost no facts or claims were even made in these fantasy-tinged promotions.

In the end, it was all about the buzz and the day-after chatter. So, here's our take on who scored and who fumbled.

Hyundai—How do you make a Hyundai commercial sound cool during the Super Bowl? Drift a Genesis and end it with the tag line "hot sauce." And with the Sonata turbo ad, we saw one too many images of the motorcyclist's rear end. Hyundai is trying to make the case that the Sonata has plenty of power for passing: no ifs, ands, or butts.

Toyota RAV4—"I wish the old spare tire was gone." Clever beginning, but the concept didn't address the numerous other changes to the RAV4. Or perhaps it did, as the redesign is subtle evolution. Instead, we could wish the RAV4 went from 0-60 mph in 4 seconds, returned 50 mpg overall, drove to Starbucks on command, and cost six bucks. Hot sauce.

Audi S6—Problem: Son has no date for the prom. Solution: Dad tosses him keys to his S6. Son is now brave enough to drive really fast, kisses the prom Queen on the dance floor and gets socked. Truer story: My dad tossed me the key to his 1986 Buick Park Avenue. My results were slightly different. Audi wants you to think it's brave to buy an A6 instead of the more conventional BMW or Mercedes-Benz competition. But Audi's doing just fine—most automakers are trying to emulate them. The real bravery is sending your teen to prom in your new 420-hp luxury car.

Jeep—There's really no way to criticize this ad honoring the service of our military and the sacrifice that their families make in their absence. Brief shots of a Wrangler and Grand Cherokee were purely incidental. At least Jeep had enough honor to not send a Compass or Patriot to bring the troops home.

Volkswagen—A white man with yellow tie channels his inner Bobby McFerrin and uses a red Beetle Turbo as a joy capsule, cheering up his dreary co-workers with a spin around the block. Even the people in the back seat are happy-- a surprise given that the Beetle's backseat is best only if you're under 5'8". But combining a Caucasian Rastafarian with a German car and the song that made the Partridge Family famous? Think of the odds of that happening...sort of like using Led Zeppelin to sell Cadillacs. Nah. That would never happen.

ChooseNissan.com—Perhaps the most boring ad. All they wanted to do was sell cars. Crazy talk.