Yahoo Autos Lada Police Car, Saab 900 SPG, Triumph Bonneville: The Dopest Cars I Found for Sale Online
Folks, it’s a Saturday again. I know, this week has felt like it’s taken about six months to finish, but we’re finally here: The weekend. As such, I’m here to bring you your standard Saturday-morning brunch reading fare. But, then, has Dopest ever been standard?
No, we’re here to be exemplary. To bring you the cars that you’re not going to find on any other best-of-Craigslist list, and also inevitably some that you will, if I just feel in the mood. My taste are capricious, and you’re all along for my Department of Transportation-unregulated ride. Welcome, friends, to the internet’s Dopest Cars.
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1957 Russian Police Car Lada - $15,000
Usually, I have a system for organizing photos for this slideshow every week. I’ll use the first shot from a given listing for its slide (unless the first shot is truly useless or bad), but find the best possible shot of the bunch to go at the very top. Whichever vehicle that comes from, I choose the second-best shot of that car for its slide. This system has worked without fail for months now, until a Soviet-era Lada police car came and screwed it up.
This Lada only has one photo in its ad, which would make it traditionally ineligible for the top shot. But, it’s a Soviet-era police Lada. What am I gonna do, not put that up top? Absurd.
1996 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution - $22,800
America didn’t get the Lancer Evo until far later in its own evolution, but this Evo IV has been brought in by some tasteful, erudite enthusiast. The Evo IV is a fine vintage of rally motoring, not least because this model shares its production year with my own date of birth. That’s synergy, baby.
This particular Evo claims a freshly rebuilt engine, but done to factory spec — no aftermarket forged pistons or ported heads here. It’s a turn-key rally car that will actually run right as soon as you turn the key. What a concept.
1991 Chevrolet Camaro Z28- $36,000
The sixth-generation Camaro is dead, so here’s my hot take — it wasn’t one of the better-looking generations of the car. No, the top spots don’t fit any chronological order: First place goes to the first generation, second place to Gen 5, and third place goes to the under-appreciated third generation.
The third-gen Camaro is often seen as the second-worst, with last place going to the truly heinous catfish, but I have more time for it. It’s unapologetically eighties, it was available with the word “IROC” down the side (unquestionably one of the cooler four-letter sounds), and it had eyeliner from the factory. Take that, Beetle.
2004 Toyota Tacoma - $5,800
Look, I know, there’s nothing particularly special about a two-door Tacoma, particularly from a rust state like Vermont. Here’s my rebuttal: Look at it. This is the platonic ideal of truck design, truck performance, truck capability. A Taco will go off road, haul your stuff, tow a trailer, and do it all while looking damn good. This is what peak performance looks like.
While this may be a rust-state car, it should have a rust-free frame — the factory one was replaced in 2018 as part of Toyota’s massive recall. Sure, the body is still rotting away, but that’s why it’s cheap. The rust just adds lightness, like Colin Chapman would have wanted.
1950 Mercury M-47 - $26,000
I guess I’m on some kind of Vermont pickup truck kick here, because I keep finding gorgeous vehicles out in America’s best state. You can picture this Mercury just sitting at the end of someone’s driveway out there, watching the world go by, occasionally firing up to keep the fuel from gumming up the carb.
The seller claims this pickup is “solid Original” yet “Upgraded” with all manner of modifications: Paint, bodywork, interior, exterior. One would think these two descriptors would lie in direct contrast, but here they appear to coexist without enmity. This is known in the Hegelian dialectic as synthesis.
2001 Ford Ranger - $2,500
I promise, this is the last green-plate pickup truck in this week’s Dopest. In fact, it’s the last pickup of any plate — it’s all cars and bikes from here on out. But I couldn’t see an early-aughts Ranger bedazzled with flower stickers and not share it with all of you. I’d feel like I was keeping secrets. Secrets you deserve to know.
This seller claims the truck was “only driven in the summer,” which sounds absurd until you notice the garden service sticker on the side — it may well have only been used in-season. The ad also ends with the sentence: “The number,” implying the seller was cut off before they could reveal some terrible truth to us all.
1988 Saab 900 SPG - $19,000
I understand, logically, that SPG stands for Special Performance Group. My mind is aware of this fact, it knows that those three letters stand for performance. I am, however, Italian, and I cannot read this car as anything but the Saab 900 Spaghetti.
The Saab 900 SPG is like spaghetti in many ways. It’s hot, first off, the way spaghetti is meant to be served. It’s flexible, adapting from family hatchback to boost-fueled raucous ride just the way spaghetti can go from cacio e pepe to carbonara without ever feeling out of place. Also, I want both this Saab and some spaghetti after writing this.
