Yahoo Autos 10 Tips for a Great Blind Date
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Many couples meet on blind dates. One of your good friends or someone on your team at work may want to set you up. It’s understandable if you’re a bit stressed because you’ll be spending time with a stranger. You might even feel pressured to get along. But, there’s no need to worry.
In this article, you’ll learn some tips that can better your odds of having a successful blind date.
10 Tips for a Fun Blind Date
Here are 10 tips that will enable you to have a good time. Whether it leads to something greater isn’t the point if you approach the meeting in a positive, healthy manner. After all, you can bring the fun yourself and decide you’ll have a good time in advance.
Wear something flattering that you like and feel comfortable in. If you wear an outfit that you feel your best in, you'll ooze confidence the moment that you walk into the room.
Don't mistake sexual chemistry for real feelings. Feeling sexual chemistry doesn’t always reflect a deep connection. Many relationships begin with a sense of comfort and attraction and grow slowly from there.
Aim for neutral expectations. The idea is to let go and see if this is a person you might like to be with.
Be positive. Try to look for the good things about the evening instead of focusing on what could go wrong.
Date mindfully. Don’t complain, worry about rejection or already imagine a big beach wedding. Be present.
Check your date’s body language and facial expressions. Remind yourself not to cross your arms in a defensive stance. Make eye contact and smile at the person you’ve been set up with. This will help you and your date be more comfortable with one another.
Don’t get too personal. It’s not the time to talk about your ex or your other previous partners. If things go well, you'll have more than enough time to delve into personal matters.
Use active listening skills. That means don’t text the whole time, ask open-ended questions and build on what your date just said.
Pay attention to the alcohol consumption. Don’t drink too much and pay attention to your date’s drinking.
Remember to focus on communication, not cross-examination. Rather than grill someone about their career and their families, ask questions that your date will be happy to talk about. It will put them in a good mood! Sample questions might include, “What do you like to do on weekends? What is the best part about your job? Have you seen a good movie or read a good book that you recommend? What place do you want to travel to next? What’s on your bucket list?
Related:Dating Tips If You Want a Relationship
How to Cope With Nervousness and Discomfort Before a Blind Date
If you’re feeling anxious, there are ways to calm yourself. Breathing exercises are very effective and you can choose from a variety of breathing techniques. You can opt to meditate or enjoy some funny YouTube clips.
Blast your favorite song or go for a run in the park. Physical exercise has a number of benefits for your mental health.
Denise Coffey, LMHC, has advice, especially for trauma-exposed individuals who might be nervous about engaging in an unpredictable situation, like a blind date. She said, “I focus on my patient's awareness of responses. So, I’ll suggest they ask themselves, ‘Am I acting out of fear and being guarded to protect myself from harm?’”
She reminds everyone that if you’re being hypervigilant, that might drive your behavior and lead to a negative outcome. Another treatment modality Coffey uses to help patients is exposure. She says, “I suggest they expose themselves a little bit at a time to a new situation like a blind date by rehearsing different scenarios that may occur. Role-playing is effective prior to new situations.”
Related:12 Tips for Dealing With Trauma
Remember Who Set You Up On This Date
Remind yourself that you trust your friend’s judgment. It’s wonderful that someone you know thinks so highly of you that they want to introduce you to someone else. This friend obviously can’t predict for sure if you guys will hit it off, but the date will be less awkward because, unlike meeting through a dating website, at least you both know the person facilitating your meeting. You have this friend in common.
There are lots of pluses with dating in real life, too, rather than using apps. It’s human-to-human interaction and you get to see the person’s energy. You get to witness how they comport themselves.
Sometimes, even though they don’t have all the requirements listed on your checklist for your ideal partner, your date might surprise you with qualities that you really appreciate.
Dating Rules to Follow
Even though someone has introduced you to someone else, it’s wise to follow the general, common-sense rules for safe dating. That means always choosing to meet in a public place. Some like to get together for a quick coffee or a drink so as not to invest too much time.
Others prefer a low-key activity like taking a walk in a park or having fun at a karaoke bar. Whatever you choose to do, be aware of your surroundings and think about how you’ll get home after dark.
While you might not need photo or social verification systems as you do with online dating apps, you still want to date safely.
One study on dating violence found predictive factors that shaped the attitudes of the 686 university students in the study when it came to the subject of violence in dating. These factors included their mother’s educational level, their gender, self-esteem, their exposure to prior dating violence, and past history of witnessing sexual or domestic violence.
As a mutual friend is bringing you together for the evening, you likely don’t need to worry about intimate violence. But don’t let your guard down completely when you go out on any kind of date.
What to Do If Your Blind Date Doesn't Go Well
If the date didn’t work out, look into dating yourself first. Maybe you need to build up your sense of self-esteem and develop your self-love. Maybe it will take a little time and you’re just not ready to meet someone yet. Or perhaps you guys just weren’t a match. Often two very nice people meet up and the attraction or spark just isn’t there.
In one study that looked at couples in a blind date setting, scientists found that a couple’s physiological synchrony predicted their mutual attraction. We can consciously control smiling and eye gaze, but the subconscious physiological synchrony of heart rates and skin conductors, which are measures of arousal, indicated there was some deep spark between certain couples.
Remember at evening’s end to look on the bright side. You might have learned something, discovered a great café in town or met a new friend. Therefore, even if a romantic relationship wasn't born, you succeeded in having a good experience and the blind date was a success.
Read Next:12 Types of Dating and How They Work
