Yahoo Autos 8 Ways to Make Friends in a New City, According to Relationship Experts
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Moving often means leaving friends and family behind. And if you decide to change your zipcode without knowing anyone in your new neighborhood, it can feel particularly isolating and lonely. Learning how to make friends in a new city can go a long way towards not just filling up your social calendar, but general happiness as well.
But the idea of forging new bonds is easier said than done for many. It can feel scary to put yourself out there and attempt to make connections because we know it’s a risk, and we fear rejection, says Erica Turner, L.P.C., relationship therapist and founder of Your Relationship Reset. “Human beings are designed to bond, connect, and feel part of a group—ancestrally, being accepted & liked by the group ensured our chance for survival…so part of us fears rejection because it triggers a primal fear of being outcast.”
We turned to the experts for insight into how to make friends in a new place, specifically making new friends as an adult, and why it’s so important to find buddies wherever you live.
How to make friends in a new city
Be intentional.
Recognize the importance of strong social bonds and make it a priority to seek out new connections, says Carl Marci, M.D., physician, neuroscientist, and author of Rewired: Protecting Your Brain in the Digital Age. “Keep in mind that we are wired to connect and that friendships make us happier and healthier in the long run—that should be a powerful motivator to get us over some of the anxiety related to meeting new people.”
Go where there are social people.
This might mean taking a class in person, going to an exercise group, or volunteering at a local non-profit, suggests Dr. Marci. “Choose something you are interested in doing and that will increase the chances of meeting someone with similar interests.”
Be sure you’re listening.
Once you connect with someone, be curious about them and listen to their stories, says Dr. Marci. “Everyone likes to talk about themselves, so make it a point to follow-up and try to maintain the connection.” You can do this by sending a simple “thank you” or “it was fun to spend time with you, let’s do it again” and see what happens, Dr. Marci suggests.
