Nürburgring hot-shoe Sabine Schmitz races a Ferrari 458 Italia

What do top instructors at the world's most exhilarating racetrack do during their lunch breaks? Apparently grab a couple of supercars, a camera crew and film a high-speed race to determine who maintains the largest cojones. Or, in this case, who doesn't.

Sabine Schmitz, the world's fastest female taxi driver, is known primarily from her escapades on Top Gear, flying around Germany's legendary Nordschleife in random machines like a Ford Transit van. Her regular gig is to haul terrified passengers around the undulating roller-coaster of madness in a BMW M5. For this particular race, however, Sabine chose the Porsche 911 GT3RS.

Her fellow instructor and rival in the video is Ron Simons, whose weapon of choice was the Ferrari 458 Italia. On paper, the race should be close, as the Ferrari crushes the Porsche in terms of engine performance (570 hp vs. 450 hp) but the Porsche sports upgraded KW suspension and is known for its nimble, precise handling, perfect for 'Ring domination.

We won't spoil the results, but in true racecar driver fashion, the loser unleashes more excuses than Lewis Hamilton. Then, in true Kimi Raikkonen fashion, enjoys an ice-cold glass of Weihenstephan, and discusses who really boasts the plumpest plums.