What do you get when you mix a celebrity, an alligator's head and an oil tanker's worth of pickup bedliner? A weird Hummer H1, for sale on eBay, of course.
The truck, according to the dealership selling the machine, is owned by a celebrity, and they're selling it from their Naples, Fla., location. The desired price tag is $89,500, although best offers will be considered. And that's probably a wise idea, given its uniqueness. Somewhere there's a spray-on bedliner technician who's likely put their kids through college off this alleged celeb, as practically every surface was glazed in the thick, rubberized coating. But as unique as the exterior looks, it's the interior where one finds an alternate universe.
Rather than the Napa leather found in most luxury SUVs or the vinyl of the stock H1, boa, ostrich, alligator and crocodile finishings were the decor of choice. Every inch of the cabin comes wrapped in their skin — and let me emphasize that by every inch, I mean all potential inches were hunted down and swaddled in animal hide; even the floor mats now sport reptile epidermis. Running along the center of the cabin like a bench (or some kind of coffin) is a mahogany hardwood floor veneer. A custom audio system has been added, along with gun racks and a specific holster for the driver located within the door panel. (Don't confuse it for a cupholder.) And in case the effect gets lost on a passenger, there's an alligator skull on the dash.
All together, this celeb's Hummer H1 makes the round trip from wild to ridiculous and back to impressive, a vehicle that's so uniquely Florida it should replace the steamboat on the state seal. The dealership themselves privately told us that the celebrity owner is country music star Rodney Atkins. But Atkins himself has denied this, telling me that it's "not mine bro."
I'd side with Atkins on this one; while appearances can be deceiving, I don't see him managing a reptile fetish. Perhaps we should call Ted Nugent?