What the Characters of The Sopranos Would Drive in a 2023 Reboot
I’ve been a fan of The Sopranos for a long time now. Hell, my Kinja bio even talks about my love for the show. After countless rewatches, I’ve come to realize what the most underrated element of the show is: the vehicle casting.
Top to bottom on the show, every charter has the perfect vehicle to fit their lifestyle and personality. It got me thinking. What would the characters of The Sopranos drive if the show took place today?
Now, this won’t be a list of the latest versions of everyones’ cars. The show ended a long time ago, and the automotive industry as changed a lot over the past couple of decades. So, we are taking a look at what we think the characters would be driving.
Shoutout to fellow Jalopnik writer Steve DaSilva for helping come up with some of the entrants. Is this list based on science? No. It is purely based on vibes, and vibes will have to do.
Dr. Melfie: 2023 Volvo XC40 Recharge
Original Car: 1995 Jaguar XJ6
A 2023 version of Dr. Melfi is absolutely going to be in on the EV revolution, and while she owns the XJ6 she is seen driving her son’s ‘90s Saab. It means she’s probably into some funky Swedish stuff. This is perfect for her, and I will take no further questions on the matter.
Corrado “Junior” Soprano: 2016 Lincoln Continental
Original Car: 1995 Lincoln Town Car
Junior is an old man, and this is the perfect old man car. It’s a bit old, but he’s not really a person of change.
Adriana La Cerva: 2023 Ford Bronco
Original Car: 2002 Ford Thunderbird
Adriana would be all over the new Bronco, and ADM won’t be an issue. Christopher either knowns a guy at a Ford dealership, or he’ll go in there and make the salesperson a “strong offer.”
Johnny Sack: 2023 Mercedes Benz S-Class
Original Car: 2000 Mercedes-Benz S500
Of course Johnny Sack would have an S-Class. I know it’s what he used to have, but the car just fits him so perfectly. I didn’t include his Maserati because he had it for such a short amount of time that it wasn’t worth it.
Sal “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero: 2020 Cadillac CT5
Original Car: 1984 Buick Riviera
Sal is a Caddy man through and through. He’s a great earner and has a very successful body shop. The only car we ever see Big Pussy drive is that ‘84 Riviera, but it was right after he was done being on the lam. His regular car was probably a lot nicer.
Bobby “Bacala” Baccalieri: 2023 Jeep Wagoneer L
Original Car: 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee
Bobby loves the outdoors; it would make sense he’s a Jeep guy. Unfortunately, he doesn’t make quite enough to afford a Grand Wagoneer, so the regular truck will have to do.
Ralphie Cifaretto: 2023 Lincoln Nautilus
Original Car: 1993 Lincoln Mark VIII
Ralphie is a Lincoln man through and though, but he’s been bitten by the crossover bug. I wonder what him and Janie will do with all that extra leg and headroom in the back seat.
Furio Giunta: 2023 Cadillac CT5-V
Original Car: 2000 Cadillac DeVille DTS
Furio also loves a Cadillac, but he’s got a whole lot of Italian flair. It means he needs a Cadillac with a little bit of spice. Not too much, though. He wouldn’t go for the Blackwing.
Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri: 2012 Cadillac XTS
Original Car: 2001 Cadillac Eldorado
Paulie is all about comfort and so is the XTS. It’s the perfect car for him.
Silvio Dante: 2023 GMC Yukon
Original Car: 2004 Cadillac Seville SLS
Toward the end of the show’s run, Sil had a Yukon to sort of match Tony’s Escalade, and I think that trend continues in my newly recreated show.
Artie Bucco: 2002 Subaru Outback
Original Car: 1985 Chevrolet Caprice Estate
Artie is a poor wagon guy. This is the vehicle for him. He is going to end up needing a new taillight eventually. After all, he’s gonna smash a shotgun into it.
Christopher Moltisanti Pt. 1: 2013 Lexus GX460
Original Car: 1997 Lexus LS400
No doubt in my mind that Chrissy sticks with Lexus as his first car on the show.
Christopher Moltisanti Pt. 2: 2018 Lamborghini Urus
Original Car: 2002 Maserati Coupé
It was a long and difficult conversation in the Jalopnik Slack channel, but this is the 2023 analog of a 2002 Maserati Coupé.
Christopher Moltisanti Pt. 3: 2023 GMC Hummer EV Pickup
Original Car: 2007 Cadillac Escalade EXT
Christopher is absolutely the car guy of the show, and that’s why he gets three slides. It’s only fair. Hopefully the Hummer’s stereo has more “balls” than his Escalade EXT’s.
A.J. Soprano Pt. 1: 2017 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited
Original Car: 2002 Nissan Xterra
A young A.J. loves an SUV, even if they’re killing the planet (his words). Getting a Wrangler would make a lot of sense, and it fits perfectly in a northern New Jersey high school parking lot.
A.J. Soprano Pt. 2: 2023 Audi RS5 Coupe
Original Car: 2002 BMW M3
This one just makes sense to me.
Meadow Soprano Pt. 1: 2011 Chevrolet Camaro Convertible
Original Car: 1996 Ford Mustang GT
Meadow is absolutely going to get rid of her Mustang in favor of a Camaro. This is New Jersey, after all.
Meadow Soprano Pt. 2: 2023 Acura RDX
Original Car: 2007 Lexus IS250
Meadow’s inability to parallel park her IS250 is one of the tensest moments in in TV history. Hopefully the 360-degree camera in the RDX will help.
Carmella Soprano: 2023 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe
Original Cars: 2000 Mercedes-Benz E320T & 2005 Porsche Cayenne S
This car perfectly combines the two cars Carm had during the shows run. I also see them constantly when I’m in my home town, so it makes a whole lot of sense she would have one when driving to the Garden State Plaza mall.
Tony Soprano Pt. 1: 2018 GMC Yukon XL
Original Car: 1999 Chevrolet Suburban
I went back and forth a lot on whether Tony would have a Suburban or a Yukon XL, but after much deliberation I’ve come to this conclusion. Tony is a professional grade man, and a professional grade man needs a professional grade truck.
Slide Title Pt. 2: 2023 Cadillac Escalade
Original Car: 2002 Cadillac Escalade ESV
I know I know, this isn’t that creative of a choice, but there really isn’t any vehicle on earth more suited to Tony than the Escalade. It just is him. Now, Tony would specifically go for a top trip model, but not the Escalade-V. He doesn’t need that.
Let me know if you agree with my picks down below, and if you’ve got a better idea for a car choice, please keep it to yourself.
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