Dacia boot, Porsche aero: Autocar builds Santa's ultimate sleigh

He's making a list, he's checking it twice – but he can't find the right car and he needs some advice.

We've met with the elves to put the reindeer out to grass and create the perfect car for Santa, using the best bits of the finest models on sale.

Here's what we'd pick:

Boot: Dacia Jogger

With around two billion kids to visit and the average games console box taking up nearly 40 litres of load space alone, Santa would be looking at a fleet of container ships to get everything delivered.

What he needs, then, is a cleverly packaged, ultracapacious load bay that can still be threaded up single-track driveways and into apartment block car parks.

With its middle and rear seats out of the way, the tightly formed Dacia Jogger touts an impressive 1807 litres of boot capacity, which might be enough for an average British village’s gift allocation… just.

Aero: Porsche 911 GT3 RS

What goes up must come down – and fast.

So when he’s ready to come back to earth with a bump at the next stop, Santa activates Land Assist Mode, whereupon the whopping rear wing, diffuser, splitters and aero from the track-honed Porsche 911 GT3 RS pop out of the sleigh’s bodywork to give a combined 860kg of downforce – which allows for megasteep final approach angles in built-up areas.

Then, when the stockings are stuffed, a hydraulically assisted drag reduction vane helps get the rig back up to take-off speed again.

Chassis: Range Rover

Who could deprive little Timmy of his new BMX just because he lives at the top of Scafell Pike?

It’s time to swap those wooden runners for a slightly more capable set-up, so what better than the unstoppable four-wheel drive system from the latest Range Rover?

With ultra-soft air suspension and all-wheel steering, it can wade through 900mm of water, climb 45deg inclines and has a foot and a half of ground clearance.

It uses navigation data to prepare the suspension for imperfections up to 1.9 miles away, so there’s no chance of crumpling those colouring books.

Battery: Lucid Air Dream

A University of Leicester study (seriously) worked out that Santa must travel at half the speed of light if he is to complete an estimated 240 million deliveries in a night, so downtime must be kept at a minimum.

He’ll be needing the 118kWh battery from the top-spec Lucid Air Dream Edition, touting the biggest range of any production EV and capable of charging up to 350kW, so he can add a few miles every time he shuffles down a chimney and gobbles a mince pie.

Our maths suggests he might crack about 600 miles in 12 hours if he doesn’t hang about…

Lights: Audi Q6 E-Tron

It’s the biggest illumination innovation to hit Lapland since Rudolph caught that cold: lights that warn other drivers of unseen hazards ahead.

Not only that, but Audi’s clever clusters can also be programmed to display personalised animations (Santa has programmed in some twinkling festive snowflakes, obvs) to let other road users know when the sleigh’s Intelligent Parking Assistant is in use.

“I was dipping the headlights at least 4.5 million times per night and continually turning my hazards on to park,” said Father C.

“This is a gamechanger.”

Optional extras

Ford Bluecruise

For £17.99 a month, Ford’s level two-plus autonomous tech means Santa can take his hands off the reins – but not his eyes off the road – and relax a little when cruising on 2300 miles of UK motorway: “You have no idea how sore my palms get after a night in the chimneys…”

Rolls-Royce Starlight headlining

“It might seem pointless because I only ever drive at night, but Rolls lets you pick your pattern so I asked for a scale-perfect, geographically accurate map of every house in the world,” said Santa. “It helps me keep on track.”

Lexus cinema screen

Massive 48.0in HD display can be used to watch presentations and host conference calls with the elves back at HQ. “I like to be an active presence in the office even when I’m on the road,” admitted Santa. “But I mainly use it to watch Love Island between drop-offs.”

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