Yahoo Autos As a mom, these are the 5 skills I wish they taught my child in school, from butt wiping to nose blowing
As a mom, I realized my 5-year-old is learning a lot of advanced stuff.
Yet I'm still helping with nose blowing and butt wiping.
I wish schools could help me teach my kids how to get better at everyday things.
The other day, my 5-year-old started describing things as horizontal and vertical. It seemed advanced, given she cannot blow her nose. I began thinking about school curriculums. Yes, math and reading are useful skills, but let's be honest: Alexa and Siri have those things covered.
While school boards and administrators seem to only care about test scores, parents and teachers are more interested in kids who can wipe their own butts. I'm proposing a curriculum that will teach our children helpful life skills,
Nose blowing
There are few sounds more annoying than a sniffle every 30 seconds. And nothing is more visually distressing than the sight of snot trains tracking into your child's mouth, especially when you don't have a nearby Kleenex.
Before motherhood, I didn't realize nose blowing was such a complex skill. But after trying to teach my child how to do it with visual examples (watch how mom can blow out a week's worth of snot in one blow), verbal instructions (blow!), a helping hand ("let me hold the Kleenex while you blow"), and reverse psychology ("whatever you do, don't blow your nose!"), I'm here to report that nothing works.
Butt wiping
While you may potty train your child over the weekend, there is no way they will be able to wipe independently. Have you watched that video of the preschool teacher teaching kids how to wipe their butts using two balloons taped to the back of their chairs? Yeah, I've seen it, too.
Everyone praises the geniuses of that video, but I disagree. Your butt is connected to your body. In the video, all of the preschoolers have to turn their bodies so they can reach their balloon butts.
Like nose blowing, butt wiping is a complex skill that requires dexterity and an ability to assess whether all poop has been cleared. Maybe the T. rex arms of young children are an impediment. I guess this might be above her abilities.
