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Nissan Skyline GT-R, Honda CB400T, BMW 600: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Friends, you’ve made it to the first Friday of the new year. Does the world seem a little brighter? Faces in the crowd a little happier? Is the cold winter air, once harsh and raw against your mouth and nose, now crisp and refreshing? No? Well, I don’t know what to tell you. New calendars are supposed to do that. Sounds like a you problem, really.

But, never fear. I may not know the diagnosis for your lack of New Year Cheer, but I may just have a prescription that can help. A list of 15 cars and bikes, all of which should put a smile on that dour January face. Welcome to 2024's first installment of Dopest Cars.

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The seller of this Sambar has it listed as a “Subaru 360 van,” and that’s shockingly close to being right. While this little truck has its own name and body, it functionally is just the van version of a Subaru 360. Gold star for Subaru lore.

The seller claims that “Everything is working but Brake needs to be fixed,” which sounds to me like not everything is working. Brakes are important, people. Take your brakes into consideration when maintaining your vehicles. Finger in the frame not included.

2013 Scion FR-S - $12,000

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

I’m here today to talk about a topic near and dear to my own heart: Wheel fitment. When I had an FR-S of my own, I had to pick up a phone and call Tire Rack — like it was the ’90s or something — to get my preferred size of Enkei RPF1s. The fitment, according to the Rack, was simply too aggressive. According to my math, though, it as spot-on.

The Aodhans on this particular FR-S, similarly, appear to be a fitment far too aggressive for the approval of certain wheel and tire sellers. This, however, makes them look fantastic under the arches of this dark blue coupe. Next time you buy a set of wheels, think about this FR-S, and then make your offset just a little more aggressive. It’s better that way.

1998 Nissan Skyline GT-T - $47,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

We’ve finally reached the point where R34 Skylines are legal to import to the U.S., though the first GT-Rs to arrive under the 25-year law are likely still aboard ships from Japan. No matter — we’ve got GT-Ts like this Bayside Blue beauty to tide us over.

The GT-T made the standard Gentleman’s Agreement number of 276 horsepower, which means you’ll have to take it to a dyno to figure out what it actually makes. Unlike the GT-R, though, the GT-T is rear-wheel drive so you can drift it straight out of the box.

1995 Nissan GTR - $92,000

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

I know, though, I know. You don’t want the GT-T, you want the full fat version. You’d miss those two driven wheels up front, and that whole extra hundred cubic centimeters of engine displacement. Well, if you won’t give those up to get the R34 headlights, I guess I can offer you an alternative. In a better color, too.

Midnight Purple isn’t the rarest GT-R color, but it’s by far the prettiest. If there were to be some sort of genie-enacted global paint shortage, and we were all left with only one paint color for every car, I would hope this would be the sole survivor. This, or maybe Lexus’s Nori Green Pearl.

1978 Daihatsu Charmant - $11,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

For weeks, I’ve seen this Daihatsu on Marketplace and wanted to include it in Dopest. Somehow, though, I got it in my head that I’d already thrown it into the list. Today I finally actually checked, and I can’t find this gorgeous wagon anywhere in Dopest history. Apparently I included it in a dream or something.

Luckily, the beautiful Charmant is still kicking on Marketplace, and I can finally right my wrong and include it here. Look at the body lines! The wheels! The yellow lights! You can tell me there’s a more perfect daily driverr out there, and I simply won’t believe you.

2002 Mazda Miata - $7,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Back in the day, I owned a track-prepped NB Mazda Miata. I owned it for approximately 15 minutes before realizing it was too track prepped to really work as a street car — and too Miata for me to ever pass the broomstick test. Still, for the time I owned it, the car was an absolute blast.

Conveniently, you can pick up a slightly less track-prepped Miata and have all that enjoyment in a more dailyable package. This NB isn’t wanting for suspension or brake mods, yet it’s lacking the kind of aero package that makes it a real pain over speed bumps. It even has a radio! It’s the perfect middle ground.

2020 Honda Monkey - $3,950

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Apparently, there are companies out there producing performance parts for Honda Monkeys. The tiny, offroad-y Honda Monkey, with its whopping 125 CCs of displacement. They make performance air intakes for these, and I love that.

Regardless of the intake, a Monkey will not be fast. It will not have sportbike handling. It will not have massive ground clearance or terrain-conquering suspension. It’ll just be a fun little guy, with perhaps a touch more sound to its name. What more could you want?

1989 Mazda B2200 - $4,000

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

I love a reasonably sized truck. These B2200s, Ford Rangers if you’re naughty, are a fantastic size for just carrying things around without needing a stepladder to access the bed. Automakers, please, we don’t need sixteen inches of ground clearance on every trim.

The B2200 just does its work and goes home. It’s compact, not horrible on gas, and it can carry a mattress to the dump just as well as any Silverado, F-150, or Ram. You’re going to get a U-Haul when you move anyway, why not have a daily that’s easier on your back to load and unload?

1985 BMW R80 - $3,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Ever since riding the air-cooled boxer twin of the Ural Gear Up, I’ve wanted a classic BMW to wrench on. The thing that always stopped me, though — aside from the whole “affording one” and “affording to store one” issues prompted by life in Brooklyn — was the styling. Those odd frames, wrapped around longitudinal engines, just always looked... off.

Now, though, I think I get it. This aftermarket seat, floating above the single-sided swingarm and shaft drive, just looks so good. I understand R bikes now in a way I didn’t before seeing this listing, and it is truly not helping my need to own one.

1980 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 - $20,000

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

I am, for reasons I do not fully understand, a defender of the Camaros that other folks don’t seem to like. Don’t get me wrong, I love a ’68 as much as anyone else, but the late-second and third generation cars just have this so-bad-it’s-good energy that speaks to me.

Maybe I have bad taste, but maybe I just have cheap taste. After all, who among us can still afford a 1968 Camaro? These, with their fully encased bumpers that purists seem to loathe, are still cheap enough to get your hands on. Act now.

1979 Honda CB400T Hawk - $2,075

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

This, right here, was my first ever motorcycle. Mine was technically one year older, and several owners worse for wear, but the CB400T is the CB400T. It was a great little bike, but it simply needed more work than I could give it in the parking lot of a coffee shop below my apartment.

You, though, could have all the good of my starter bike with none of the bad. This Hawk looks truly immaculate, at least according to the single photo in the ad. You won’t regret spending twice as much as I did for one of these, I promise you.

1993 Nissan 240sx - $13,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

I know we had our little Nissan moment earlier, and normally I wouldn’t include a third car from the same make in one slideshow. This, though, is a special case — a 240SX in full 180SX Type S kit, with a tasteful bodykit to complement the look.

I love this car. I want this car. I would coat this S13 in enough Hatsune Miku graphics to blind the sun, then drive it every single day of my life. This is my hole, it was made for me, and I truly wish I could own it. Please, itasha it in my stead.

1958 BMW 600 - $9,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

The BMW Isetta was created to answer a single question: How few passenger doors can you put on a car? The answer, as BMW discovered, is one. Past that, you stop being able to do things like “get in” and “drive,” and you really start pushing the definition of “car.” So, after solving that, BMW asked another question: What if that new car we just built had another door?

This is the BMW 600, a four-seater version of the Isetta. Yes, this tiny little blob of a car is designed to fit four adult humans in — well, maybe not in comfort, but certainly indoors. How much more do you need to get from Point A to Point B?

1972 MINI Cooper - $49,500

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

Sure, I guess, if you wanted to push things, you could ask for a bit more power. And a nicer-looking body. And a hood. Throw in some Superlites, some wide fenders, and some modern suspension, and baby you’ve got a stew going.

This Mini claims to rev to a full 10,000 RPM, and make 130 horsepower by the time it gets there. These aren’t far off from motorcycle numbers, making this Mini functionally just a motorcycle with a roof. And, again, the wide fenders. I cannot stress those enough.

1983 GMC Jimmy - $15,000

Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Photo: Facebook Marketplace

I think more cars need people names. You could get the Chevy Blazer, sure, or you could get a GMC Jimmy. I think this should be matched by the Honda Dave, the Kia John, and the Kawasaki Jade.

Doesn’t that just feel fun to say? Isn’t that more entertaining than Accord, K5, or Z900RS? The alphanumerics versus names war has been fought along all the wrong lines. All this time, we should’ve been demanding automakere scroll through baby name lists when developing a new car.

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