People Are Sharing The Harsh Realities They Realized When They First Lived On Their Own

I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share some of the unexpected challenges they faced when living on their own for the first time.

NBA / Via giphy.com

Here's what they had to say:

Warning: This article contains detailed descriptions of mental illness.

1."That the cost of living is built for a double income. I'm grateful to live alone, but I'm constantly worried about money. I wish living alone was more affordable, and we singles weren't punished for not having partners. It's harder for us to save for homes, retirement, everything."

—madkz

2."Paying the rent. I have a decent job (not great, but decent), but as a single person living alone, rent eats up more than it should. There seems to be an unspoken assumption that you're going to be living with a significant other who's splitting the rent, in which case, my rent would be affordable. Paying the rent alone is the toughest part about living alone; I really enjoy the solitude otherwise."

—rnd13001

3.During the pandemic, I worried about getting really sick (like, stuck in bed, can’t move sick) and not knowing how I would take care of myself. Sure, my friend would have gone to the store and gotten me supplies and such and dropped them off for me, but if I can’t get out of bed or make it downstairs, what would I do? My family lives out of state, and when travel was restricted, they wouldn’t have been able to come. It stressed me out because I didn’t want my friends to have to risk their health and their families' health just because I’m on my own."

—Molly E

4."Besides the high cost of living alone, the worst thing is fending for yourself while sick. There's no one else to pick up canned soup and medicine (although now it's possible to have things delivered), no one to take a giant bag of used tissues out to the trash, no one to help keep the house from getting too messy, no one to walk the dog, no one to keep an eye on whether your fever gets too high, etc. You feel too crappy to do anything, and you still have to do everything."

—losfrangeles

5."My husband died almost five years ago, and I've been living alone since. I have some major health problems. I broke my hip again at the beginning of the year, and because I live in a secure building, nobody can get in without a key or someone letting them in. I wasn't able to move, so I had to call the emergency after-hours maintenance number, get them to contact security, and wait for security to arrive before I could call the ambos. I'm terrified that I'll have a fall, or something will go wrong with my health, and I won't be able to get help. I now have a personal alarm and a key safe at the front door of the building, so I can get help if necessary. I've had to have help with showering, because I can't safely get in or out of my shower while I'm using crutches. I've also needed help to put my shopping away, because I can't bend much, and when it's delivered, they just dump it at my door."

"My biggest fear is that I'll die, and nobody will know until the neighbours complain about the smell."

—phimi

6."Always worried I'm going to choke."

—ktschmit8

7."Bills and slipping in the shower. I just moved into a two-story flat, and now I have to add falling down the stairs to the list."

—Ashleyj

8."Taking mental and emotional ownership of the entire apartment. I grew up in an abusive home where I spent most of my time in my bedroom either in trouble or trying to avoid it. Roommate situations turned ugly, and I did the same thing again. When I got my apartment by myself four years ago, it took months, maybe a year, for me to feel comfortable hanging out in my own living room, eating in my own kitchen, really inhabiting the entire space at any hour of the day or night. I kept reminding myself: I'm allowed to. It still feels weird to get up and watch a movie at 3 a.m. when I can't sleep, but I'm allowed to."

—Alex F

9."I’m divorced, and my ex is a horrible person, so not in the picture. The weight of all decisions is a big one. I’m exhausted all the time because everything is left up to me."

—amintment