People Tried To Sneak Some Truly Weird Stuff Past Airport Security In 2023

The American Transportation Security Administration is often accused of being little more than security theater. They exist to make the average everyday traveler feel safer about their flight. “Well, if they make me take my shoes off and throw away my water bottle, surely the terrorists won’t get through their iron defenses,” is more or less the agency’s raison d’être. Sometimes I’ll get to my destination and notice an xacto or Swiss army knife stuffed into a pocket of my backpack I haven’t opened in months that went completely missed by their scanners and fallible human eyeballs.

But once in a while the TSA proves its worth. The agency recently released a list of its top 10 finds of 2023, and folks, it’s a doozy. There are some things in here that I wouldn’t have imagined possible. And I certainly wouldn’t have thought the intelligent and well-adjusted American populace would even attempt to bring some of this through security. Click on to see what I’m talking about.

Naruto Knives

These anime-accurate throwing knives were found in a passenger’s bag at Boston’s Logan International Airport.

Replica Rockets

These replica explosive warheads were found in a passenger’s checked luggage at the Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport.

Knife Bread

This bread is keto, and that knife is neato. It’s also illegal. Found at SeaTac.

A Real ‘Nawlins Treat

This jar of Pro Boil, which already wouldn’t have been allowed on the flight, was packed with a baggie of methamphetamine, which is definitely not allowed anywhere. Where else would this be but Louis Armstrong New Orleans International?

A 35mm Round

Charlotte Douglas called the bomb squad for this one.

Leg Knife

TSA agents at Anchorage Airport found a knife hidden in someone’s prosthetic leg.

Don’t Even Try To Hide It

New Orleans again makes the list with a completely unhidden firearm loaded with 163 rounds. I wonder if this person knows the guy with the jar of meth. Honestly, this should be the number one find of the year, but the TSA ranked it fourth on their list.

Explosive CO2

A passenger flying through Sacramento International Airport thought it was a good idea to bring an improvised explosive device through security.

Weed Diaper

While it is technically legal to have up to three ounces of weed in New York, it’s still a federal crime to fly with it, or bring it across state lines. This passenger at LaGuardia didn’t want her mom to know she had weed, so she hid it in her adult diaper. TSA ratted her out, those buzzkills.

Bang

The most harm this device was ever capable of was the damage it did to whoever drank a can of Bang Rainbow Unicorn. This improvised explosive device was inert, and wasn’t really a threat to anyone. In any case, the person who intended to use it didn’t fly anywhere that day.

Video

If you want to see some bad puns and poor animations, check out this video that a government intern put together.

Best of 2022

Last year’s list was unequivocally won by this handgun hidden inside a raw chicken. I don’t know who thought a raw chicken would get through security without a second glance, but it makes sense that they were flying out of the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. Florida man strikes again.

Best of 2021

Meth in a burrito, found at the William P. Hobby Airport in Houston, Texas. Yeah, that checks out.

Best of 2020

Another concerning one, this assault rifle was found under the lining of a carry on bag. Along with several boxes of ammo. This one was found at Newark Liberty.

Conclusion

It’s a pain in the ass to go through airport security, but I can barely remember what it was like in the pre-9/11 era of flying, and it’s certainly here to stay. Maybe if people keep trying to bring guns on planes, that’s a good thing.