Yahoo Autos People Who Used To Be Bullies Are Opening Up About What Made Them Change Their Ways, And It's A Lot To Take In
Warning: This post contains mentions of abuse, depression, disordered eating, and self-harm.
It's an unfortunate reality that, in life, some people may end up becoming bullies or mean girls.
While they sadly might stay this way throughout childhood and/or adulthood, people who demonstrate bullying habits could choose to change their attitude at any point in time.
Redditor u/pocoschick asked past bullies and mean girls what led them to leave this behavior behind. Here are some of the powerful responses that were submitted.
1."I got a job as a video game tester and worked with people who were bullied when they were younger. We'd tell stories, and things I found funny they found traumatic and mean. As cliché as it is, I never thought about it from their perspective or thought my behavior was bullying until then. Helped me see it from the other side. I'm much more empathic now. Pretty ashamed about my behavior when I was younger."
2."I just had a teacher that I really respected who talked sense into me. I was one of those jocks who picked on the weaker kids who can't really defend themselves in order to make the crowd laugh — a really shitty thing to do really. It was never anything too physical or over the top, so parents or others never got involved, but I know that I made life a pain for some individuals while in elementary school. Anyhow, this PE teacher of mine took me into his office after hours one day and explained that I should try to use my authority better, and that while it might feel good to make others laugh on someone else's behalf, it feels a lot better to be an overall good guy."
"Never really had any good male influence in my life before that, so that really stuck with me, and from high school and onward, I tried to reach out and confront others in school that bullied others. Oftentimes, we just don't know better."
3."I was a mean girl — cheer, popular, thought I was better than everyone else. During summer break in high school, I went to camp. I was bullied by some of the other girls there so relentlessly. From hazing, to emotional bullying, to humiliating me, and lying to get me in trouble. It was bad. After that, I changed. Wish it was earlier."
4."I was essentially bullied at home by family, and I took it out on those around me. Thankfully, I had some friends that let me know I was being a dick, and I apologized to the people I hurt. I'll always hate myself for the way I acted, and I don't think that will ever change. I still catch myself being a grumbling asshole sometimes, but I will never let myself be who I used to be."
5."Over time and with new experiences, I stopped hating myself and my life. Then, I started seeing value in my existence and realized I actually impacted people. Happiness, for myself and others, became my reason for living. My middle school health teacher used to tell us that bullies are hurting, and that's why they bully."
"Miss Costello, wherever you are, you were right. I've never met a bully who was happy with themselves or their life. I tell my students all the time that hurt people hurt people, and I stand by that. The fastest way to help a bully change is to show them love, kindness, and compassion."
6."When I realized I was just like my dad, and I really dislike my dad."
7."I became shy after a bit. I just realized that, 'Hey, I'm not better than any of these people by any means. I'm just below them.' Now, I help anyone I know who gets bullied or at least try to."
8."When I was still quite young (early teens), I realized I was modeling my behavior on one of my parents and that they were a very obvious bully. I took immediate steps to redefine myself as a person who carefully avoided that abusive tendency."
9."I used to be really mean and bully two kids in my class in primary school. I wasn't OK mentally, and to be honest, I was taking out my stress on them (I still feel guilty). When I started middle school, my mental health got worse, my depression and anxiety gave me an eating disorder, and I started self- harming out of guilt. I'm in high school now; I'm a lot better, I haven't self-harmed for months, I go to therapy, and I found good friends!"
