Yahoo Autos When a Rolls-Royce Blows a Tire, You Learn How Special You Really Aren't
Had I had the opportunity, I'd have changed one thing on the Rolls-Royce Ghost that the automaker lent me several summers ago: the front left tire.
First, the good. Modern tires are scientific wonders that can let average family sedans outgrip expensive German luxury cars. They're so resistant to the common blowouts of their bias-ply predecessors in the 1970s that many cars, to save cost and weight, remove spares. Rolls-Royce is not concerned with cost or weight, yet the Ghost, with its motorized stainless-steel hood ornament and lambswool rugs, doesn't pack a spare. And the best tires don't care how special you are. One moment, I'm pointing its bow through seas of traffic outside Portland, Maine, the 6.6-liter V-12 half awake as I trail my friend's Mitsubishi Evo. In the next, I'm another unlucky schmuck on the side of I-95. I hit nothing, and the sidewall exploded.
Tire shops in southern Maine do not stock 255/40R-21 Continentals, so don't bother asking. Mainers know better than toy with Y-rated summer rubber for all of three summer months, and precisely none are driving a brand-new Rolls in dire need of a $430 ContiSportContact 5, which to my convenience is not a run-flat. The Ghost is dead. With the grace of the Maine State Police, I abandon a $350,000 car on the shoulder and run off to call roadside assistance.
That price is very much on my mind when dialing the company's 24-hour hotline; I assume a personal concierge will answer like those of the finest hotels, offering anything to whisk my car back into service. Instead, the Rolls-Royce number routes to a BMW call center that plays the same Tom Jones hold music that Mini Cooper owners get. It's late on a Thursday afternoon, and the nearest dealer is hours away outside Boston. That's out of the question tonight. Since the Ghost is really a 7-series-right down to the plastic key fob that replaces the BMW roundel with "RR"-I ask the operator to tow it to a nearby BMW dealership that might stock the tire. This is a confusing request to them. I hear "It's Not Unusual" for a few more minutes before I'm blessed with "manager approval" to bring the car to a non-RR dealer. There's no loaner, no offer to ship a replacement tire by courier, nothing. The tow truck arrives with a driver who has never towed a Rolls-Royce. I advise him there's no front tow-hook connection and explain how to put the Ghost in park. Since the Ghost weighs as much as a studio apartment, I hold the brake while he tilts the bed so the car doesn't slide bumper first to the pavement.
The BMW dealer doesn't have a tire but kindly limps my Ghost into the service bay overnight. The next morning, I call roadside assistance again to ship it to the Boston dealer, the only place stocking this tire within 120 miles. The operator doesn't understand why I'd call twice. "Why did you tow the car to a BMW dealer?" I skip the part about the Ghost sharing a chassis, electronics, and various hardware with a BMW sedan that costs a third of the price and instead replay my highway havoc. "Oh, okay. Thank you for calling BMW-I mean, Rolls-Royce-roadside assistance. I hope your day gets better."
I'm supposed to get a text confirming the tow, but it has been an hour and a half. I call AAA, and in 10 painless minutes, I've got a tow truck on the way to the BMW dealer. Then Rolls-Royce calls back, only to tell me they'll be there in an hour. The Boston dealer won't have time to fix it this late, so the Ghost is grounded until Monday. I call back AAA and cancel their tow within two minutes. They never ask me what color my car is or why I'm towing an outlandish luxury sedan two states away. AAA is incredible.
The bill for this adventure? $953. The dealer was generous enough to mount and balance the tire.
Granted, the average Rolls-Royce owner wouldn't relate. His fleet manager would immediately swap him for a Lamborghini Aventador and handle the worrying. But when you buy a sensational, hyperexpensive car like a Ghost or a Wraith-two Rolls-Royces that encourage owners to actually drive themselves-is it too much to ask for decent customer service during the simplest of breakdowns? Especially since new cars generally don't break? Because no one at Goodwood threw a full-size spare tire in the trunk, my Ghost was sidelined for four days. I haven't driven a Rolls-Royce since.
The original Silver Ghost, in prewar style, mounted a spare tire right on the flanks. If only it had been 1907, I would have been on my way in minutes, without any reason to telegraph this story.
('You Might Also Like',)
