After searching in 3 countries for the perfect sperm donor, I'm finally a single parent. It's difficult going through the process alone.

• Katie Barnes decided to have a baby on her own after she was unlucky in finding a partner.

• She searched five sperm banks in three countries to find the perfect donor.

• This is Barnes' story, as told to Laura Cooke.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Katie Barnes. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was younger, it was never a question of if I'd have children — it was always a question of when. But I've quite simply been unlucky in love; I had several long-term relationships, but nothing lasted.

My last relationship ended when I was 37. I quickly became aware that the clock was ticking; I've seen the statistics about older women trying to have children.

When that relationship ended, I decided to explore my options. I ultimately chose to have a baby on my own, using a sperm donor — which was a journey that spanned three countries.

I started my fertility journey by going to a fertility clinic to learn my options

I went to the TFP Thames Valley Fertility Clinic in the UK for an assessment and discovered I was of average fertility for my age.

From there, my doctor told me I had a choice: I could go with IVF or intrauterine insemination. I chose the latter because it's less invasive and cheaper. But the chance of getting pregnant with IUI is much smaller.

Around the same time I was speaking with my life coach because I was struggling with aspects of this journey. I was worried I'd be depriving my baby of a father.

Through more honest conversations, I decided to move forward and have a baby on my own.

The process got even harder when I had to choose a sperm donor

First I looked at a sperm bank in London, but there weren't a lot of choices. Donors aren't paid a huge amount in England compared with other parts of the world, so I don't think many men come forward to do it.

From there I went online and explored the options at two sperm banks in Denmark, but nobody really caught my eye.

At the same time I looked at two sperm banks in the US. In Georgia, I was really drawn to one donor. He seemed nice and was an obviously good-looking man. The bank had great photos of him as a child and as an adult.