Shirley MacLaine on Sexual Identity, Contemplating Alone, and More

I remember the first time I saw Shirley MacLaine on the big screen. It was in Terms of Endearment, where her Oscar-winning character, Aurora Greenway was simply irresistible and utterly indescribable. I’ve seen that movie countless times, and each time I find something new in Aurora. She is at once ballsy, brash, direct to a fault, and then fragile, sentimental, and big-hearted.

Since I fell in love with Aurora, I ended up making a point to watch as many Shirley MacLaine movies as I could. Each character seemed to encompass some of the attributes of Aurora, and I was always left with the impression that MacLaine was putting so much of herself into each part she played.

I imagined her to be ballsy and fragile, brash and sentimental and direct and big-hearted. She has remained my favorite actress for nearly 40 years.

Her body of work is a tour de force of the many facets of Shirley MacLaine. She made her debut in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Trouble With Harry in 1955. She won the Golden Globe that year for New Star of the Year (actress). Along the way she shined in such films as The Turning Point, Sweet Charity, and Postcards From the Edge.

Then there was The Apartment in 1960 with my all-time favorite actor, Jack Lemmon. One regret I have is that I never met Jack Lemmon. And as I grew older, I worried that I would miss the opportunity to meet or at least talk to MacLaine.

I watched her films at every opportunity. It was the closest, I thought, that I would ever get to knowing hwe.

I loved her in Being There, a gem of a Peter Sellers film. MacLaine plays Eve Rand, the much younger wife of a high-ranking presidential adviser, Ben Rand, played by the legendary Melvyn Douglas. In a reply to a question about who the simple Sellers character is when she first meets him, Eve hilariously mishears "Chance, the gardener" as "Chauncey Gardiner," and the rest is epic.

Of course, most of us gay men of a certain age — and then some —will always remember her in Steel Magnolias, where she and the late Olympia Dukakis played warring adversaries who were best friends. The film has become a sort of coming-of-age movie for gay men, and mainly because of our love of MacLaine’s acerbic character Louisa "Ouiser" Boudreaux.

Besides her Oscar and several competitive Golden Globe Awards, MacLaine has received the American Film Institute Life Achievement Award, the Kennedy Center Honors, and the Golden Globes' Cecil B. DeMille Award.

When I saw MacLaine recently in her fabulous guest-starring role on the Emmy-nominated Hulu comedy Only Murders in the Building, I began drumming up an excuse to reach out to her.

Turns out, I discovered she’s up to quite a bit at the age of 88, including a starring role in the film American Dreamer, opposite Peter Dinklage, which premiered last month at the Tribeca Film Festival.

What intrigued me perhaps the most about speaking with MacLaine is her point of view on sexual identity — which is becoming the buzz term of 2022. MacLaine has long believed in and written and spoken about reincarnation.

In her 2011 book, I’m Over All That: And Other Confessions, she wrote, “One of the explanations for homosexuality and transgenderism could, I believe, be a profound identification with a recent incarnation as a member of the opposite sex.”

She also said in a 2015 interview, “Was I ever a man? Was I ever confused about being a man? Was I ever gay? I think, absolutely. I think we all have been around that block many times.”

There was a time in my life, when I thought I had all the answers, that I scoffed at reincarnation; however, as I’ve gotten older, I realize that all the answers I had when I was younger were merely guesses.

Who among us knows the definitive truth about who we are, where we come from, and where we will go? Reincarnation doesn’t seem so far-fetched to me anymore.

When I began my phone conversation with MacLaine, I envisioned talking to an amalgamation of all her iconic characters, and MacLaine did not disappoint. She is at every turn sharp, intuitive, witty, and perceptive.

What follows is a condensed version of my conversation with the legend that is Shirley MacLaine.

The Advocate: Can I just begin by saying it is wonderful to hear your voice?
Shirley MacLaine: Thank you so much. That’s very sweet.

I hear that you’ve just returned to California after spending most of the pandemic in New Mexico.  
Yes, I spent about a year and a half alone in the mountains of New Mexico. It was quite interesting.

Did you get tired of yourself after a while?
Not at all. I don’t get tired of myself. Being alone in nature can be very revealing. You’re able to reflect on the universal intelligence of the world we live in. We don’t spend enough time alone and, for that matter, trying to understand and contemplate the universe around us. Being in the mountains you can connect to the world. It’s beautiful, and it provides an opportunity to take a measurement of emotional intelligence of yourself, whether you’re at peace or not. And it helps open up your thinking about what prior civilizations might have been like. What was life like then? Was it more peaceful, considering things aren’t in the best of shape in the here and now?

Are you sad that you left what sounds like paradise?
No, I love it here in Malibu as well. I take walks on the beaches and the nearby hills. I’m still trying to stay away from people — not that I dislike them, but as I get older, I’m perfectly happy with myself.

So overall you’re more at peace?
Yes, I’m more at peace with myself. Being alone in the mountains of New Mexico, I was able to better grasp the chaos we’re all in when we don’t take those moments by ourselves to commune with nature — we miss out on something. More peaceful despite the complicated and complex country we live in right now. Could be a reason that I don’t go out much. It can be a reminder of all the turmoil. I’m more settled about how to be part of a screwed-up and complicated culture.

That’s not to say I’m not paying attention. I watch and read the news. I think I could have been a journalist or might have been one in a prior life.

It’s never too late to become a journalist. I read a couple of your books. You’re a great writer. 
I’ve been thinking about writing, but the problem is after a while I have difficulty holding the pen with my hand. For me, I like to write everything down; however, I’m thinking about maybe trying despite the limitations of my hand.

I’m sure you know this, but you can dictate something into your phone, and it will even transcribe it. Or you can have someone transcribe it for you?
That’s not for me. I like pen and paper. Too much technology these days. It gets in the way of people engaging one another.

Yes, I agree with you. People who walk down the streets of Manhattan and have their heads inconsiderately buried in their phone. It’s a pet peeve of mine.
They end up walking into open holes!

That’s what I hope will happen to them.
Not me! I don’t wish harm on anyone.  We’re all trying to navigate our way through this life, which is hard enough. We should be there for each other.