Yahoo Autos How to Talk to Your Child’s Peers About Down Syndrome
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When I was 18 weeks pregnant with my son, Charlie, I learned he had Down syndrome. Over the course of my pregnancy, I grew accustomed to a much more heightened sensitivity to the “R” word and jokes people made at the expense of people with disabilities.
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Nowadays, I can bat down the use of the “R” word with my eyes closed and one pinky on the tweet button.
But since Charlie’s infancy, I’ve consistently faltered with simple, sincere questions I don’t feel prepared to address.
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Take this story, for example. One characteristic of babies with Down syndrome is tongue thrusting — almost like they’re licking ice cream, almost constantly. I had read about it, but until I noticed Charlie’s own tongue thrusting as he lay in his NICU isolette, it didn’t occur to me that my child may have that characteristic.
We’re used to it now, enough that I forget it might stand out to others. When a kindergartner first asked me why Charlie was sticking his tongue out, I was not proud of my reply. I said, very simply, “Well, he must be thinking about ice cream!”
What should I have said? What is the best way for parents to speak to their children’s peers about Down syndrome? When is it helpful?
Pros and cons
Parents have mixed reactions and philosophies on whether it’s helpful to address a child’s disabilities with his or her peers.
Stephanie is Mom to 8-year-old Ivan, who has Down syndrome, and 7-year-old Angelina, who has cerebral palsy. Ivan is in a mainstream second-grade classroom, and Stephanie says it never occurred to her to speak to his class about his Ds diagnosis.
“I am a firm believer in ‘we are more alike than different,’” she says, “and the last thing I want to do is make Ivan feel like he’s different.”
The story Stephanie shares reaffirmed her belief that Ivan’s classmates accept him exactly as he is.
“About halfway through last year, his first-grade teacher told me they had a little classroom revelation. I’m not sure how it came up in conversation, but it came out that the class had no idea Ivan had Down syndrome.
“[His classmates] thought, because of his smaller stature and delayed speech, he was just a really smart preschooler who was smart enough to be in the first grade with a little help! The thought of that conversation still delights me.”
Raising awareness
Laurie is a fourth-grade teacher and mom to two sons with Down syndrome, Chase and Zeke, who are both 5 years old. She recently presented at a Down syndrome Association of Greater Charlotte (North Carolina) seminar on speaking to a child’s peers about Down syndrome.
The seminar covered a range of scenarios, from speaking with younger children to discussing disability etiquette with high school students.
Laurie shared the lesson plan she used with Chase’s and Zeke’s kindergarten class, as well as her oldest son, Ian’s, kindergarten, first- and second-grade classes.
“We knew [Ian’s] classmates knew Chase, and we wanted to start building that awareness and acceptance and understanding from day one,” she explains.
