When You’re Walking SEMA, and a Vehicle Stops You Cold

Most SEMA builds are cool. Most will give you ideas for your own projects. Most make sense. But with every SEMA show, there are a few that are downright confused, useless as even styling exercises, and might have you gouging your eyeballs out with marlin spikes. Herewith we present, SEMA: The Final Abominations.

This is a Ferrari Testarossa-ish body but with a center seat configuration. It doesn't look enough like a Testarossa to get credit for that, but it doesn't look awful enough for your brain to dismiss it. It lingers somewhere on the periphery of your vision and in a permanent location in your frontal cortex, which has been made just a little dumber by viewing it.

This started life as a perfectly innocent 1999 Porsche Boxster, but it was subjected to vehicular cruelty.

The Honda Acty is a practical little utility hauler made for the Japanese Domestic Market. So why have they lowered this ("slammed it to the ground" as the kids say, or said), put woodgrain fenders on the wheels, and added a wing? A wing? And located so low that it couldn't possibly catch the airflow, could it?

This 1994 Nissan actually won something called Tuner Battlegrounds, an "online bracket-style tournament where auto enthusiasts compete for a @pasmag feature." And this was the winner.

Nothing wrong with stripping down a BMW, chopping the top, bolting in a roll cage, screwing on fender flares, painting on blue skies and clouds, adding Trophy Truck-style spare tires... okay, at some point that becomes wrong.

This is a distinct style of motorcycle—the big wheel in front, the fenders, the graphics. It's an accepted art form in some circles.

Hey, Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors, find a flavor you like.

This starts with a three-wheeled Slingshot roadster, which should be enough right there to warrant inclusion on this list.

Apparently Rockford Fosgate makes more than high-end audio systems.

If the Wicked Witch of the West and her #1 Flying Monkey went cruising in Oz...

What is going on here? Anyone?

The '80s called and said, "Nah, we're good."

This was in a paint booth demo, but what is it? Why is it?

Suzuki kei-class trucks are cool, and cute, but not always.