While looking for love on ‘The Bachelor,’ NC nurse found herself in awkward situations

As recently as last summer, Kylee Russell was perfectly content with the idea of being a Charlottean for the rest of her life.

The alumna of Lake Norman Charter School and Wingate University was settling into a new job as a nurse on the mother-baby postpartum floor at Atrium Health Cabarrus hospital in Concord; loving living in the heart of uptown; and thrilled to have been selected for the third straight season as a member of The Honey Bees, the dance team for the NBA’s Charlotte Hornets.

But then one day, out of the blue, she got a call from someone informing her that she was advancing through the process of being considered as a contestant for ABC’s long-running reality-dating series “The Bachelor.”

Which was interesting, because she had never applied.

“I was completely shocked by it. I even thought that I was being catfished for a second, ‘cause I was like, ‘Wait, what are you even talking about? I have no clue what all of this is,’” says the 25-year-old Russell, calling while taking a late lunch break on Tuesday, which marked exactly one year since her first day on the job at the hospital.

As it turns out, roughly around the time she was hired by Atrium, Russell also was being nominated for the show — by her own mother, who never said a word about it and apparently had long since forgotten about it by the time her daughter got the call. And, as it turned out, Russell was cast as one of 30 women who would wind up competing for the affection of 26-year-old tech executive Zach Shallcross.

If you watch “The Bachelor” (spoiler alert), you know:

She didn’t win, becoming one of the first women to ever be dumped virtually due to Shallcross contracting Covid while they were shooting Week 5 in London.

During her run on the show, however, she did find herself near the center of some major drama. It started while they were filming in the Bahamas during Week 4, when she interrupted a conversation between Shallcross and fellow contestant Anastasia Keramidas. Russell, who was trying to steal Shallcross away from her, made what was a painfully obvious figure of speech — “I don’t want to fight you” — that Keramidas inexplicably interpreted as a threat of bodily harm.

Later in the episode, after Russell and Shallcross discussed the incident, Russell told Shallcross that she’d heard Keramidas had made remarks suggesting Keramidas had come on to “The Bachelor” mainly to build her social-media following. Shallcross dismissed Keramidas from the show soon after.

The whole kerfuffle was revisited in a surprisingly frank “Women Tell All” episode on March 14, when contestant Genevie Mayo (who is Black) called out Keramidas (who is of Greek descent) for microaggressions toward Russell (who has a white mother and a half-Black, half-Cherokee father). Race came up again at another point in the episode, too, when host Jesse Palmer confronted contestant Greer Blitzer about old tweets in which she defended a high school classmate’s decision to wear blackface.

We spoke with Russell about all of this: her elimination, the drama, issues of race and much more — including her relationship status and her new openness to moving away from Charlotte.

The conversation has been edited to improve clarity and flow.

Q. OK, before we get to the Anastasia stuff — just because it relates to how she spoke to and about you, and to what came up during the “Women Tell All” show — how would you say people most commonly identify you, in terms of race and ethnicity, when they meet you for the first time?

Everyone has always said I have a very ambiguous look. I feel like the good thing about me is people of so many different ethnicities feel like they can identify with me because of that. Sometimes people say I look Asian; so, if a little girl who is Asian saw me and they thought I was Asian, they can kind of look up to me. So I’m never pinpointed. One of the first questions someone always asks me is, “Oh, what are you? What are you mixed with?” I think I can use that to my advantage, because I can easily relate to people by their own assumptions.

Q. Yeah, actually, I’m Asian, and I thought you were Asian when I first saw you.

See, I get all kinds of things. Today, for example, one of the Hispanic workers at my job was trying to talk to me in Spanish, and I was like, “Oh! No hablo español.” And she’s like, “I’m so sorry! I thought you were Hispanic.” I was like, “Nope!” Honestly, people think I’m all different kinds of things. I don’t care either way. I’m just like, think what you want.

Q. So in the Bahamas, when word came back around to you that Anastasia thought you were threatening her, it seemed like you kind of laughed it off and just thought she was being ridiculous. Then on the “Women Tell All,” Genevie pointed out that this is an example of a microaggression towards Black women. Did you see it as that — identify what Anastasia was insinuating as a microaggression — in the moment?

In the immediate moment, not necessarily. Just because I think I was so taken aback. I never wanted to be someone involved in the drama. Because I am very socially awkward. So the whole situation of me trying to steal him in the first place made me uncomfortable. Then her bickering back and forth — not allowing me to take him — made me even more uncomfortable. So whenever I found out that she had taken my words out of context, I was just honestly in disbelief. Then as the night progressed, she kept going to each of the women on the beach — and I obviously didn’t see this, but — saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m scared because Kylee basically said she was gonna physically harm me.”

It wasn’t till I watched it back that I realized what was happening. And what I expressed to her during the “Tell All” was, like, never in a million years did I ever make someone feel as though I would harm them, let alone physically harm them. It hurt my feelings. Like, “Why did your mind immediately go to that place?” So Genevie made a great point and simply educated Anastasia — “OK, this might not be what you meant, but it’s showing unconscious bias.”

I was thankful that I was able to speak my piece, too — and do it in a manner that was respectful, because that’s what I want to do at all times — and hopefully simply educate her on the matter. I hope she can change from it.

Q. How good a job do you feel “The Bachelor” did with handling the matter of race overall?

I feel like everything has been fair. I think it was a big, big step — especially during the “Tell All” — to take that time to focus on the situation with Greer, to have Dr. Banks (Kira Banks, the co-founder of the Institute for Healing, Justice and Equity at St. Louis University) there to speak on the training and the work she did with Greer. That was huge. Even airing the conversation of the microaggression; it just shows how ABC and The Bachelor Nation franchise has grown leaps and bounds. I’m thankful that we’re able to have — and are willing to have — those conversations.

I think for future casting, it’d be good to do a little bit more digging, especially when it comes to background checks, so we don’t have instances such as Greer’s resurface. But at the end of the day, I feel like even with the whole Greer situation, it’s all about education and wanting to do better. And I know the franchise has taken the right steps to do that. I hope they continue to do the work and continue to try to be better. That’s all we can ask for.

Q: Going back to Anastasia: You mentioned in the “Tell All” that she was your roommate in the Bahamas?

Mercedes (Northup), one of my really close friends on the show, was my actual roommate. But Anastasia’s room was adjoining to mine.

Q. Was there any friction or any tension between you and Anastasia before that?

Not at all. And that was the weirdest thing. We got along. Actually, my suitcase was lost in the Bahamas for the first day or so, and she generously offered to let me borrow some of her clothes. There was never any type of animosity. That’s why I was so shocked, ’cause it all felt like it was coming from left field.

Q. Don’t tell me you were wearing her swimsuit when you went up to her and Zach to break up their convo ...

(Laughing.) My suitcase luckily came in time for the group date. But I think the first day I was wearing one of her sweaters or something.

Q. It seemed — at least, watching from home — that Anastasia blowing your comment out of proportion is what caused you to tell Zach that she’d said what she said about Instagram followers. Was that the case?