As a widow and a mom, I'm still figuring out how to celebrate Father's Day without my husband around

• My husband died in 2019 after we returned from a trip to celebrate my 40th birthday.

• I was left alone to parent our two kids, who were younger than 3.

• We talk about him often, on his birthday, Father's Day, and other special occasions.

"Mommy," my daughter said, "am I going to get a new daddy?"

Talk about a punch to the gut.

My husband — and the love of my life — Mark, passed away unexpectedly the day after Thanksgiving 2019. We had two children younger than 3, and we had just returned from a whirlwind romantic trip to Bordeaux, France, to celebrate my 40th birthday. How could we go from the best week of our lives to the worst that fast?

Adjusting to solo parenting is still a daily challenge for me, but one of the greatest support systems I have is my friend network.

More days than not, the group text chain, playfully called the Juju Cult of No Bad Feelings, helps me stay grounded and supported in ways that I otherwise wouldn't experience. It's the place where we get to have raw, real — even cringey — conversations that other people might shy away from.

Cringe with a side of relief

When Mark died, people rallied to support us. But as time went on, especially with holidays, birthdays, and special occasions, people were afraid to say the wrong thing and ignored the subject altogether to tiptoe around my grief.

This felt isolating because I was hurting and unsure how to ask for help, while others were afraid of overstepping or triggering me. Inadvertently, I felt abandoned when I needed people the most. That's where the text chain has become my saving grace.