These Are The Worst Stories Of Pilots Being Dangerous Idiots

When an off-duty Alaska Airlines pilot tried to kill the engines on a commercial flight earlier this week, every reaction seemed to coalesce around a single question: “Hey, bud, why’d you do that?” Now, after a police interview, it seems the pilot has finally given us the answer. Turns out he was high as balls.

Remember the beginning of Independence Day, when we first meet Randy Quaid’s character? He’s in a red biplane, drunkenly crop-dusting the wrong property before landing on a local road. While the character saw redemption later in the movie, it seems an Indiana pilot has decided that this version of Russell Casse is the one to idolize — only with out quite as smooth a landing.

Once you’re on a plane, your fate is in the hands of the pilot. You’re going where they want to go. Unfortunately, the pilot of a recent British Airways flight from London to Düsseldorf, Germany, ended up in Scotland, 525 miles away from a whole plane full of people’s intended destination, all thanks to some shoddy paperwork.

The BBC reports passengers only realized the error when the clueless pilot announced to their confused passengers, “Welcome to Edinburgh.” The passengers thought it was a joke until the airline stewards asked by a show of hands who was expecting to go to Düsseldorf that day.

A British Airways pilot was fired and will likely never fly a commercial airliner again after he attempted to work a 12-hour flight after a night of hard partying where he used cocaine. The pilot was caught after he bragged about his night out to a flight attendant via text message. The attendant then reported the incident to Britain’s flag carrier. British Airways immediately suspended the pilot and canceled the intercontinental flight.