Angry Dodge Hellcat owner sets 7 rules of ownership, with a nod to Tesla

Hellcat rules of ownership
Hellcat rules of ownership

With Hellcat fever still in full swing — as both the Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat and Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat are now hitting dealers in full 707-hp form — the first injuries to metal and pride have begun to pile up. Seeing the carnage among his fellow owners, one Hellcat customer has taken it upon himself to issue the seven commandments of Hellcat ownership so that those Peter Parkers can finally understand: With great power comes great responsiblity.

Underneath the occasionally foul language in the video below comes some basic common sense, such as when to use the black key (never) and how to use the dash's launch control and shift points to ensure that some Prius owner doesn't come away with a story about declawing a Hellcat at a traffic light.

"I shouldn’t have to make this video. I shouldn’t have to tell you these things," the Hellcat owner's William Wallace says. "I’m just sick and tired of seeing the Hellcat losing."


From there, the rules expand to cover those moments when the Hellcat stumbles into a mismatch at the drag strip — notably against all-wheel-drive supercars and the Telsa Model S. The Hellcat may bend all the rules about what's possible in a Detroit muscle car, but it can't break the laws of physics.

(Warning: Again, graphic language ahead)