Yahoo Autos What to do when it's time for a parent or grandparent to quit driving
It's one of the more difficult conversations we can have with a parent or grandparent: Their driving skills have declined to the point where you know they're a risk to themselves or others. When confronted, some seniors hand over the keys willingly. Some don't. Their may not have self-awareness or are in denial about their decline — they may insist they're doing fine.
Yet the trouble signs are there: They are running stop signs, banging up fenders, hitting the sides of the garage, getting lost on roads they know, or mixing up the gas and brake pedals. If this goes on, someone could get hurt.
Cars represent freedom. The potential loss of that is understandably scary. My grandfather, for example, stubbornly refused to give up his keys when asked — until one day he handed them over willingly and without saying a word; something had happened on the highway that scared him, he wouldn't say what. Even without the keys, though, he was comforted by having the car parked outside. It was a symbol of freedom just sitting there.
As the Baby Boomer generation ages, the ranks of older drivers are growing fast. Kaiser Health News reports:
"Nearly 50 million people 65 and older held driver’s licenses in 2021, a 38% increase from 2012, according to data compiled by the American Automobile Association. Almost 19 million were 75 or older, a rise of 31%. During this period, motor vehicle deaths for people 65 and older increased 34%, reaching 7,489 in 2021. The number of seniors injured in vehicle crashes that year exceeded 266,000."
How old is too old to drive? AARP says the average age for seniors to give up driving is 75, but that surely is a moving target as the Baby Boomer wave ages in better health and 75 becomes "the new" 55 or 65. We all know people who drive safely beyond 75. Vision impairment may be the thing that most risks older Americans losing their license.
For the most part, older drivers are safer drivers, using caution behind the wheel and relying on decades of experience. They wear their seatbelts, they don't speed, and they adapt to their changing skillset by avoiding big highways and not driving at night. Even so, it's a good idea for seniors to get an old age driving assessment — and brush up their skills — by taking refresher drivers-ed courses offered by AAA, AARP or agencies or driving schools in your area. Lists of senior driver-education resources are available online. Taking these classes can also qualify a senior for an insurance discount.
A company called the Driver Cognitive Assessment Center offers evaluations of older drivers, and suggests these signs of concern:
Close calls
Driving too slow or too fast
Dents and scrapes on the car, fences, mailbox, garage doors, curbs
Drifting across lane markers or into other lanes
Unaware of other vehicles or errors
Ignoring traffic signs and signals
Getting lost or confused in familiar places
Having difficulty finding the parked vehicle
Feeling uncomfortable, nervous, angry, or fearful while driving
Confusing the brake and gas pedals or late-braking
Being easily distracted or having difficulty concentrating while driving
Difficulty judging gaps in traffic
Being honked at by other drivers
Friends or relatives not wanting to ride as a passenger
While several states require license renewals and vision tests at shorter intervals as we age, only two states — Illinois and New Hampshire — require all renewing license holders age 75 and older to re-take a road test. But if you question your loved one's driving, the DMV does have a role to play. More on that in a moment.
So what to do when you have to do something?
If your loved one should no longer drive, the right approach might differ depending on what you think will be most effective:
